Shelda Jeanette Stoker

Shelda Stoker

July 14, 1939 — May 30, 2026

Shelda Stoker passed away early on May 30, 2026, after a rewarding and wonderful life — one that was not without its challenges, but that she met with unfailing strength and perseverance. Shelda never knew a stranger, and she will be remembered for her kindness, her loving and resilient spirit, her devotion to serving others, and her beautiful smile. She left us far too soon.

Early Life

Shelda was born July 14, 1939, in Gallatin, Missouri, to Norma Jean and Robert Keith Miley. She spent her childhood on farms across North Central Missouri, in Davies, Sullivan, Putnam, and Linn Counties, and was an active member of 4-H clubs in each community she called home, all the way through high school.

At Laclede High School, Shelda threw herself into student life. She lettered in both basketball and softball, sang in choir, and was elected Senior Class President. She attended Missouri Girls State and was recognized by the University of Missouri as a “student of highest scholastic promise” among Missouri high school graduates of 1957. She was also a member of Brookfield Christian Church, where she sang in the choir alongside her mother, Jean Miley.

In the summer of 1957, Shelda and her parents moved to Kansas City, where she enrolled at Kansas City Business College. There she met a fellow student, Verden Harms. The two began dating and were married on June 7, 1958.

Building a Family and a Career

Shelda and Verden made their home in Hillsboro, Kansas, near his hometown. Shelda began work as Executive Assistant to the Manager of Tip Top Dairies Plant — the start of what became a lifelong family love affair with ice cream, since Tip Top packaged ice cream for Baskin Robbins, which became the family's special treat. They had two children, daughter Teresa later followed by son Michael.

Shelda went on to a second career as Executive Director of the Hillsboro Chamber of Commerce from 1970 to 1977, completing the US Chamber of Commerce's Organizational Management Institute's annual certification each year from 1971 to 1976. Shelda then worked as Executive Assistant for two local attorneys from 1977 to 1979. During this time, she also began coursework for a paralegal degree at Wichita State University.

She was a member of Marion, Kansas Christian Church, where she served as Deacon, Elder, and Board Member. She also taught High School Sunday School for several years, beloved and respected by her students.

Shelda was deeply involved in her community. This included involvement in the local and state Miss America pageant program, serving on the local Miss Marion County Pageant committee and as Pageant Director. In 1969, she chaperoned Miss Marion County to the Miss Kansas Pageant, where the young woman was crowned Miss Kansas, and Shelda accompanied her on all of her official appearances that year. Shelda also served on the organizing committee for the 1974 Hillsboro Wheat Centennial Celebration, the Marion County Fair Association Board and was involved in the early years of organizing and running the Hillsboro Arts & Crafts Fair.

A Full and Devoted Life

In 1979, Shelda moved to Kansas City to work as a legal secretary for Roger Hurwitz, a partner at Hoskins King McGannon Hahn & Hurwitz. She married Henry Stoker in April 1980, and the two lived in Lee's Summit and Branson where Shelda managed the medical practice for Henry Stoker from 1981-1988. Later, Shelda managed the West Plans, Mo., branch for investment advisors Penrod & Co. Always a lifelong learner, she studied for and passed multiple licensing requirements including the rigorous Series 7 in order to sell life insurance, annuities and other financial instruments. Later, Shelda and Henry lived in various other small Missouri and Midwest communities while Henry carried out locum tenens medical work, before returning to Lee's Summit. Following Henry’s death in 1998, Shelda moved to Foxwood Springs Senior Community January, 1999

Shelda was a member of the Order of the Eastern Star for 45 years, serving in the Lee's Summit and Branson chapters. To prepare for future roles, Shelda received a Certificate of Accomplishment” for completing Objectives of Worthy Grand Matron and Worthy Grand Patron 1986-87. She held various offices over the years, serving as Worthy Matron in Branson from 1988 to 1989 and in Lee's Summit from 1999 to 2000, and she served in leadership roles at the District and State levels as well. In her final years with the organization, she served as Esther in the Lee's Summit Chapter. She was also a member of The Social Order of the Beauceant.

Shelda married Jerry Ward in November 2000 and continued her service in the Eastern Star and Beauceant, supporting Jerry's Masonic involvement and his state leadership roles. In 2017, she moved back to the Foxwood Springs Senior Community with Jerry. There, she gave generously of her time as a Parish Council representative, a member of the Spiritual Life Committee and Fellowship of John, an organizer of Vespers speakers, and a volunteer at the Thrift Shop and Bargain Barn. She was also a member of Raymore Christian Church, where she served as Elder, Board Member, and part of the Disciples Women's Fellowship.

In 2023, Shelda was honored with the York Rite Sovereign College of North America Diamond Award in recognition of her outstanding and faithful service to Freemasonry. Over her last nine

years, Shelda thrived in the friendships, love, and fellowship she found in the Foxwood Springs community, her church, and the Eastern Star.

What She Loved

Above all, Shelda loved people — like her mother before her, she never met a stranger. She treasured family history and genealogy, and delighted in music, with favorites ranging from Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Patsy Cline to Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Burt Bacharach, and Dionne Warwick, the sounds of Motown including the Supremes, the Temptations, Marvin Gaye, and Aretha Franklin, along with Tom Jones and Herb Alpert.

She loved to travel, anywhere in the United States, and especially cherished her trips to Mexico with dear friend Susie Cook from Branson. She loved flowers, especially moonflowers; she loved to dance; and she found joy in having wine or Manhattans in the company of family or friends. She cherished her beloved dog, Lucy. Most of all, she loved helping others.

Family

Shelda is survived by her daughter, Teresa (Steve) Martin; her son, Michael (Dawn) Harms; her grandchildren, Chase (Rian) Martin, Spenser (Ashley) Harms, and Alexis Harms; and her great-grandson, Teddy Harms.

Celebration of Life

The family is hosting a party to celebrate Shelda’s life on October 3, from 2:00-4:00pm at Foxwood Springs Senior Living, 1500 Foxwood Drive, Raymore, MO. Family and friends are invited to share a favorite memory or message.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial contributions in Shelda's honor be made to The Raymore Christian Church or the Foxwood Springs Fellowship of John Foundation.

“Mom never knew a stranger.”