Myrtle Linda Shaw Gray

By Christopher A Rossi, Grandson

1922

Linda Myrtle Shaw was born in an old farm estate called ‘Big Eden’ along the banks of Swift River Jamaica, in the Parish of Portland on 3 January 1922. She was born to a midwife in the home, who also bore many other of her family including Pearl (Pearly), her first cousin, who was like her sister her whole life. Robert Bruce was her father and Verna Gray was her mother, but they were never married. So in Myrtle's life, she was closest to her grandfather Robert Gray. He was the man that told everyone to call her Myrtle instead of Linda because "myrtle flowers all year long". Her grandmother Agnes Gray (nee Strachan) was the disciplinarian of the house and would whip the kids when they were out of line. The one time Agnes whipped Myrtle, her grandfather interceded sternly, "you are not to whip Myrtle do you understand?!" Agnes would say that her husband was too kind, "it’s a wonder he came home with the shirt on his back."

Robert was a butcher that butchered a cow once a week, sold most of the parts in his shop but brought home a feast for the family on Fridays. Agnes always cooked more than needed, when asked why she cooked so much she'd say "What about Mr. Howdy doo?" meaning food for anyone who may just drop in. They also planted tobacco and twist it into a rope. Grandma Agnes would open the leaves and sprinkle them with water. Then fill them with more tobacco. Grandpa Robert would sell it to the local market run by a Chinese man named Sang. Sang was her cousin Pearle’s biological father. Myrtles 2nd cousin, nicknamed "Tit", would declare the family's fortunes by reading the tea leaves at the bottom of her teacup. Oftentimes late in Myrtle's life, she looked at the bottom of her cup of tea and say, "Well, Tit, what do you have to say about this?" Her beloved Grandpa Robert also traded some beef with Sang for treats like crepes and soda cakes, Myrtle would wait by the window on Friday nights and when she saw him near the home she would run and walk the remainder of the way home. It was a large family with 11 children (Myrtle's aunts and uncles): Mae, Dori, Margaret, Ida, Verna (Myrtle's mother), Hendy, John, Bertie, Peter, Paul, David “D”.

Big Eden also supported a small farm with goats and pigs, and chickens. There was a special grapefruit tree that the chickens loved. That was "the sweetest grapefruit in the village" (that’s on you to figure out why). Swift River was across the street and it flowed into Hope bay. Occasionally the river overflowed and the lowland town people would wander up to Big Eden to camp out for a few days while the water receded.

1938

Robert Gray had a brother named Mas (master) Ned who was a Station Master for a banana plantation that lived at Hope Bay, his house was destroyed by a tidal wave and so he planted coconut trees to help block any waves. Robert Gray died when Myrtle was 16, at that point she up and left for Mas Ned's family home in Hope Bay. Myrtle never asked permission, she just showed up figuring they could not say no if she didn’t ask. Myrtle loved the refined living at Hope Bay, where the maid would have tea ready every afternoon at three o’clock. It was in Hope Bay where Myrtle finished school. Even after Robert Gray's death, he would appear in Myrtle’s dreams from time to time and foretell her future. When she was 18 she was dating a man there who she thought she would marry. She had a dream where her Grandpa Robert appeared and said "Myrtle you will not marry him, he is going to marry Elaine." Myrtle was perplexed by that since Elaine was a 9-year old cousin that lived in Mas Ned's house too. Later her boyfriend told Myrtle that he had to break up with her, that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant and he had to marry her, her name was Elaine a person she didn’t know who lived across town.

1944

Myrtle met her future husband, Hugh Shaw, as he rode a horse past her Hope Bay home. She grew close to him and to his mother Ruth, who was a very loving soul. It was not a perfect marriage but it resulted in Patricia's birth. And Hugh's position in the Jamaican government allowed Myrtle and Pat the chance to tour England and Europe. During the 1940s and 1950s Myrtle worked in Jamaica's first department store called Issa's. There she rose to be a manager and got experience in running a business. In the 1950s Big Eden was destroyed in a large hurricane. It was rebuilt for the family to visit.

1963

After her divorce from Hugh in 1963, Myrtle opened her own store called ‘Shaw's Novelties’. The store sold clothing and tourist goods. Myrtle was part of a lottery pool that put in money every week and a number was drawn for the winner that allowed them to keep the pooled money. Myrtle won that lottery and used the earnings to buy her home on Graham Heights, a newly constructed modern 3-bedroom home in the hills of Kingston. Myrtle never married again, the store paid for her home and bought her a car. Her best friend Gilly Boorasingh, an engineer whose marriage with one child ended, became her protector, the home repairer, finding the person to do home repairs, really a savior stepping in to help a single homeowner. Pat her daughter, valued Gilly’s friendship too. There was another royalty in the form of an animal. Her home was protected by a big dog named Commoner. He was her loyal companion for many years in Jamaica. Pat recalls Myrtle saying unfortunately, he had to be put away. When Commoner was dying, his doggy self knew it. Myrtle had to leave temporary, he winced out to her, she told him ‘don't worry am not leaving, I'll be back soon’. The early 1980s brought the election of the Socialist Michael Manley who Myrtle did not like since he vowed to "go to the mountaintop" with Cuban leadership, and was very friendly with Fidel Castro. There was increased violence and turmoil in Jamaica and people fled to the United States.

Her daughter Pat was now living in the U.S. since 1970, initially working at the United Nations. Pat and Vin married in Jamaica in 1976, Hugh gave her away. The couple still had friends together, Winston Stewart, M.Sc., Chief Technical Officer, Ministry of Agri & Lands, Consultant US Peace Corp-Caribbean, was the toastmaster at the wedding. Brother and sister Fay and Daudet Stanford (Hugh’s Cornell University buddy) and Jamaican agronomist attended too. These two people were Myrtle’s best friends until both passed. It was now 1982 and Pat gave birth to Erika Myrtle’s 3rd grandchild. This prompted her to move to New Jersey. The first two grandsons were Craig and Christopher. Myrtle loved the highlands of Jamaica for its cool weather, and it was for the same reason she loved New Jersey.

1983

She moved to Dover to be near to Pat and her family and originally went to an Anglican church. However, Trinity Lutheran church’s Pastor at that time was Cheryl Johnson who was constantly organizing events for the seniors at the Dover Senior Building where she lived. They grew close and Pastor Cheryl (nickname Cheri) suggested she start attending services at Trinity Lutheran church. That began 30 years of life with her church family. For instance, when Pat and her family moved to Italy, Pastor Cheri pointed out that "We are your family now" and Myrtle had dinner with the Pastor and her husband Wayne Widmann every Sunday.

The other notable time when Robert Gray appeared in her dreams was when she was in New Jersey working as a senior aide taking care of the elderly Mr. Mackin. Myrtle mysteriously suffered kidney failure while working there. The doctor even commented on her toxicology asking if she had ingested any exotic plants lately. After being placed on dialysis for several days, she had a dream that she saw Robert Gray in a coffin and jumped in to give him a hug. He promptly pushed her out and she realized it wasn’t her time. She rapidly recovered after that. Her nurses noted that they had never seen anyone recover after 9 days on dialysis.

Myrtle loved her church, her God, her country of birth, and her country of adoption, and her family. She strongly believed that God gave back to her everything she gave to others. "God is good" was one of her favorite phrases. Myrtle had pride in herself and in her family and friends. What people loved about her she loved about them. Her final wish was for her ashes to be spread in Irishtown Jamaica, a small town in the highlands of Jamaica where she spent many cool nights chatting with friends and family, away from the hustle and bustle of life. Sept 2020.

TRIBUTE TO MYRTLE LINDA

By Patricia Shaw Rossi, Daughter

This is about the life of my mother, Linda ‘Myrtle’ Shaw nee Gray. Her life was filled with love, she was surrounded by a caring family. Myrtle’s life journey was vetted with challenges and strife. Throughout all of this, her disposition remained stable, her character exemplary.

This wonderful lady was a retailer, a businesswoman, a store manager, a homeowner, and a churchgoer. Myrtle was born in Portland, district of Swift River, Jamaica, into the Gray’s, a large family from Portland. She used her family name Gray as she didn’t know her dad whose surname was Bruce. The Grays trace their roots to the early 1800s. Myrtle’s great grandfather was David Henderson Gray born in 1832, died 1913 (Jamaica records). Both he & his partner had seven children. They were Arthur, Benjamin, Ernest, Robert Henderson (a farmer who married Agnes Strachan, pronounced Strawn), Henrietta, Jane, and Clementine. Robert ‘Bob’ Henderson, Myrtle’s grandfather was the father figure to Myrtle, they were very close. Verna, Myrtle’s mom, and Myrtle’s father were not married so she looked to her grandfather, mother, aunts, and uncles for guidance. Besides her grandfather ‘Bob’ she was close to Ida her mom’s sister. Robert Henderson and Agnes had eleven children. May, Paul, Henderson, Ida, Peter, Margaret, Medora Marcella (Dorie), John, Bert, Verna Willamina, and David. Myrtle’s mentors were her grandfather, grandmother, mother, aunts, and uncles, a large household.

I, Myrtle’s daughter as a bystander was given a glimpse by Myrtle of the life-path of some in her household. May got married to a Jamaican and settled in the U.S. They had no children. Unfortunately, elderly and alone, having lost her husband, she accidentally left a stove on and perished by smoke inhalation. Henderson loved astronomy, he shared this with family including me, Pat. He and his wife Emeline Agatha had lived near Big Eden with their children. Once he had to move, his home got damaged severely by a hurricane. Dorie married, went to Cuba with her children, and returned years later with some speaking only Spanish. Verna went to Cuba to work, later settled in the U.S. for at least 18 years. This traveling she did, while Myrtle was young, caused Myrtle to be raised by others, to go from Dorie’s household in Kingston to Mas Ned’s Hope Bay home. (Edward Ned Gray was brother to Robert her grandfather). Verna and Myrtle grew apart, in Myrtle’s mind she was left behind. There was resentment. It wasn’t until my grandmother Verna came home to Jamaica from the U.S. with cancer that Myrtle determined they should be a mother and daughter team.

The house in Big Eden as Pat remembers it was of wood, dark inside, with perhaps three sleeping areas, plain rooms, and a living, dining room, very sparsely furnished. At the end was the spot to cook. Picture a small wood-sided enclave. The floor was earthen. If flames landed there, you know it would go out! The space had a zinc cover with an opening around the central fire pit to let out the smoke. After baking meat, it could be brought in the main house to hang to further cure. During the day, the smoke from the firepit could cure any meat handing there. There was a firestone cookery outside as well. Water was caught in a large rain barrel. The house was up on a hilly grade, Swift River flowed clear blue about a fifteen-minute walk below. My mother told me they would catch the shrimp there. On our visits when I was ten to fourteen years old, uncle Pete still cooked, we collected river shrimp and snails and we swam in Swift River.

I was born after Myrtle married Hugh Shaw who she met in the Hope Bay area. As a family, we lived in the lush and friendly town of Highgate. A few years later we moved to Bushy Park, a dusty dry town without a nearby neighbor. In Highgate, we grew close to Adma Gordon, her husband, and their two children including Deanna who was my playmate. We were also friends with their near family – Louise Chambers and children: Joy, Judy, Andrea, and their brothers. Myrtle made ends meet doing hairdressing and dressmaking then. When I was three my father, an agricultural agent for the ministry of agriculture, was sent with his family to live in Grenada for two years. After living in Grenada we moved to Bushy Park. Mom told me a story once that I was longing for a playmate while living in Bushy Park. She could not find me in the house then looked for me outside and found me passed the bushes near the road. She said I told her 'I am waiting for the bus to pick me up and take me to grandma Green's house because I have no one to play with here'. Fortunately for me, our relatives moved into our home for a little while and so I had my cousins to keep me company.

After those years, Myrtle’s marriage started to break because of Hugh’s loss of interest in the marriage. The three of us moved to Kingston. Later because of Hugh’s credentials of M.Sc. economics, his job with the Ministry of Agriculture, Kingston evolved into having his own Land Development and Utilization Division, his strength. Hugh and Myrtle divorced. Out of that Myrtle emerged a leader. She worked for a known Jamaican business and later owned her own retail outlet. Myrtle’s ability in management, accounting developed into her strength. She worked hard as a parent before, during, and after marriage hardships. While Myrtle struggled with marriage, she was a reliable employee, a stable mother to raise a child, she also remained focused on goals of saving money and house ownership.

Before immigrating to the U.S. she opened her own business called ‘Shaw’s Novelties’ at the Southdale Plaza, a new strip mall plaza in the heart of suburbia shopping. Prior to that, her store was located next to the well-known Brown’s Pharmacy, Constant Springs Rd. Friends, relatives, and well-known Jamaicans were shoppers and Valerie Marshall her employee, was her friend.

Managing her business with uneven sales, she succeeded to make a living. Before opening her own store in the 1950s, she managed ‘Things Unusual’ a specialty store that sold gift items from all over the world located in Tropical Plaza, one of Jamaica’s first shopping plazas. It was owned by Abraham Issa a known entrepreneur and hotelier (Wiki). Myrtle started out as a retail manager in Issa’s of King Street, a modern department store. At that time, she also went to Ocho Rios to manager Issa’s outlet at the Tower Isle Hotel, built by Issa now called Couples Hotel.

Myrtle traveled to Europe in 1963 with Pat courtesy of Hugh her husband just before her marriage ended, visiting England, France, Luxemburg, Switzerland, and Italy.

Pat moved to the United States in 1970 and married Vin of Italian ancestry in 1976. They had three children, Craig, Chris, and Erika whom Myrtle was a loving and caring grandmother to. She decided to permanently move to the U.S. to live with them after Erika was born. She became a US citizen in the 1980s. She worked as a live-in aide in Morris County, NJ. Unfortunately, kidney failure prevented further work.

Vin’s family has remained close to us and Myrtle. They knew her as ‘grandma Myrtle’. Pat, Vin, and children lived in Italy for a few years. In 1992 with her best friend Phyllis Russell Phillips, they came to Italy for a holiday, quite enjoyable for them although Myrle hated to fly. She also did a tour of California and the coast. She couldn’t fly alone, so while in high school her grandson Christopher went along as her companion. Myrtle had many talents including crocheting. As a hobby, she crocheted making doilies and bedspreads.

She was affectionate to her relatives, kind to friends and neighbors. Susan Delisser Tavares her cousin remembers that she showered her with love. Susan’s mom, Pearl Gray Delisser, and Myrtle were brought up together; was Myrtle’s best friend so Pearl and Lenny’s children, Susan, Richard, and Judith were good friends. Ida Myrtle’s aunt, Vern’s sister, was Pearl’s mother. Other Gray relatives were close friends: Lurlene ‘Tit’, Clare and Hyacinth ‘Hya’ – they are James Orlando (Landy’s) children also Norma Gray Lewis – that is Henderson’s child. Also Flo – John’s child. Isla – Robert Patrick Gray’s child and Hazel Gray Bennett – Mortimer Sylvester Gray’s child were good friends.

Note: Robert Patrick Gray‘s uncle was David Henderson Gray (Myrtle’s great grandfather). David’s son was Robert ‘Bob’ Henderson Gray, Myrtle’s grandfather.

In Dover where she lived, she developed friendships and shared her meals with others. Myrtle was a member of Trinity Lutheran Church for over 26 years. Her friends were the members of that church. When she became unable to go shopping or go to the doctor on her own, she was extremely grateful church members stepped in to help. Pat and the family remain thankful for their assistance. Her role as a mother is admired, she is a treasured mother. She enjoyed the role of grandmother and great grandmother and did not miss acknowledging birthdays and Christmas family gatherings. She was a woman of integrity. Her spirit was cheerful, pleasant, uplifting, and kind. Myrtle my 98year old mother will be missed by friends and all her family. Blessings to her, may she be at peace. Sept 5, 2020.

TRIBUTE

Erika Rossi, Granddaughter

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember…you will be missed”

As a young girl, I was fortunate to have more than one female role model in my life. Grandma Myrtle often spoke of her hardships and her accomplishments throughout her lifetime. She was an incredibly strong woman who found the strength within herself to get through life’s challenges. She was a determined young lady, who had a goal to provide a good life for herself and her daughter Pat. Running her own business wasn’t always easy, but still, she was able to achieve her goals. Such as buying a house and a car with the money earned from Shaw Novelties (the store she owned) and it would allow her and her child to live comfortably. I can hear her in my head saying.. “I did it all by myself… without (her late husband) Mr. Hugh Shaw…ha-haha!” Grandma taught me to always honor myself and she was an exceptional model of how to be an independent woman.

I remember all the stories she told us of her growing up with her friends and family. It’s hard to imagine, but she had such a great life before us grandchildren came! A life filled with lovable memories of her grandfather, her cousins, her mother Verna, her daughter Pat, her best friend Phyllis, and many more loved ones. Grandma loved her family very much.

She was present in her grandchildren’s lives from the very beginning when we all lived in NJ. And even though we moved a few times, we could still count on grandma around winter time taking a train ride to come and visit us no matter where we lived. We would take turns visiting her in NJ where we would bunker up in her 1 bedroom apartment and rummage through her photo albums as she told us stories of her past. Despite her intense fear of flying she got on a plane, together with her best friend Phyllis, and came to visit us in Italy. She would also travel, despite feeling uneasy about flying, to Jamaica to be present at her relative's weddings and important gatherings. Grandma didn’t want to miss a beat because she really and truly loved her family.

As we grew older she would always be in contact with us. She had a special bond with her grandson, my brother Chris. He somehow became the topic during many of our conversations, so much so that I could count on her bringing him up in each and every conversation I had with her. She would tell me “he is such a good person"... "you have a good brother"..."he is a great father.” And she was right, he is all of the above. Grandma told me once “god sent me a good man in my life, not my husband, but my grandson Chris.” He truly lifted her spirits and gave her a reason to enjoy her life for as long as she did. Chris would call and speak to her by phone nearly every day, and fulfilled his promise to her of visitations with Myrtle's great-grandchildren several times a year. So let us take a moment to acknowledge Chris for being her everything in the latter part of her life. Because she would have appreciated us talking about Chris as she did so fondly of him.

I also want to thank my Mom for being grandma’s support system for all these years. She turned to you when she was in need and you helped to take care of her from a distance for many years. Grandma raised you well and you have the same warm-hearted personality as her.

We will remember her beautiful smile that complemented her beautiful personality. She was a smart, sweet, and kind warm-hearted person.... and had a good sense of humor. And with that personality, came out of her mouth, the most adorable voice that will stick with me for the rest of my life.

I will remember her love of God. She would always say “God has been good to me my entire life.” Whenever there were challenges in her life, by the grace of God, she got through these challenges. She was a devoted member of Trinity Lutheran Church and loved her local church family. The church brought people into her life whose presence meant a lot to her. They would look out for her as she grew older and she would always say “they are so good to me.” We sincerely appreciate their presence in her life.

Grandma touched the lives of many people throughout her lifetime. Her kindness and generosity to others made it impossible not to love her back. She will be missed tremendously and we promise to share her story with her great-grandchildren so she will never be forgotten.

TRIBUTE

By Craig Rossi, Grandson

I will always remember my grandmother making special foods that I enjoyed eating such as ackee and codfish, fried plantains, and rice and beans. I would see her during Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays. Sometimes my mom would visit then too. I would travel from Washington DC to Dover NJ, where I would be greeted with a warm plate of food from grandma. I would also be invited by my dad’s family Aunt Maria (dad’s sister) or Uncle Frank (dad’s brother) to holiday dinners in Rutherford NJ. Their entire family was close to us and Myrtle, including my cousins who we grew up with attending birthdays and x-mas parties when we all lived in NJ. So at their dinners, they would always ask ‘how is grandma Myrtle doing’? For they knew her a long time too. Afterward, I would spend the night at grandma Myrtle’s, and tell her all about the holiday dinner. Of course, she would be delighted because they also sent back samples of the foods they served. She was my Christmas grandma because I always saw her then.

I have many fond memories of her starting from the very beginning when we lived in Lake Shawnee. She would come to our house and hang up her clothes in our closet. I asked grandma ‘what is that smell’? and she would explain to me mothballs kept her dresses free of bugs. Grandma was always concerned with preserving her clothes and protecting her wallet. This bible verse reminds me of her… “lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. Matthew 6:19-21

TRIBUTE

The Johnsons, Family

To the family of Myrtle. Our hearts are heavy, as the passing of a loved one is oftentimes difficult to accept, though the passage of time helps in some way, to soothe the pain and grief. Aunt Myrtle blessed us with her warm smile, kind heart and thoughtfulness; Always keeping in touch over the years. We are thankful for the times we got to share in a life so rich in wisdom and so wonderful. Know that we share in your sadness as we all celebrate her life and legacy ---truly a wonderful and remarkable life lived. May God comfort you and grant you His peace, knowing that the void left by her passing is deeply felt by all of us and we will miss her dearly and cherish the wonderful memories.

Leata, Winston, Shirley, Yvonne, Norma, Maxine, Andrea and families. Aug 2020