Joy Ellen Upton, 79, of Plano, TX passed away August 15, 2022. She is survived by her husband, Nathaniel (Nat) Upton of Plano, TX, daughter and son-in-law, Brynn and Matthew Welch, grandchildren Josiah, Grace, and Peter Welch of Kyle, TX, her son and daughter-in-law Brett and Lisa Upton of Frisco, TX, and brother Scott Kuhlow of Imlay City, Michigan. Joy was predeceased by her parents, Robert and Waunita Kuhlow and brother Wayne Kuhlow.
Joy was born Joy Ellen Kuhlow in Bainbridge, Georgia at the Bainbridge Army Air Base on April 17, 1943, where her father was serving in the US Army Air Corps during WWII. When her father completed his commitment to the military, Joy returned with her family to their hometown of Detroit, Michigan. The family later moved to Royal Oak, Michigan where Joy attended school, graduating from Kimball High School in Royal Oak in 1961. After high school, Joy worked in a department store and then in the advertising department for the Daily Tribune, the local newspaper. She met her husband, Nat, in late-1962. Although Joy lived down the street from Nat in Royal Oak and worked in the department store next to his work, they actually met at Ted’s Drive-In Restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan in late 1962 when Nat and his friend on leave from the Navy parked next to her and her best friend. Joy’s friend recognized Nat and invited them to join the girls in Joy’s car. Joy took her cushion and left. Fortunately, Nat saw Joy the next day in the department store where she worked and asked her out. When he asked her where she lived, he was surprised when she told him that she lived down the street from him. They were married in Royal Oak a year later on November 23, 1963, the day after the assassination of JFK. Shortly after their marriage, Joy took a job working as a chairside assistant with a local dentist.
Prior to their marriage, Joy and Nat talked about being weary of the harsh Michigan winters and thought about moving to San Diego where two of Nat’s brothers lived. With some help from his oldest brother, Nat was able to get a job in La Jolla, California. In May 1964, within two weeks of obtaining a job commitment, Joy and Nat moved to San Diego. While Nat worked in the La Jolla Shores area, Joy spent a lot of time on the beach next to the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club. After a while, Joy got restless and gave up some of her beach time to take a job at Scripps Hospital in La Jolla. In January 1965, Nat enrolled at San Diego State University while both Joy and Nat continued to work in La Jolla. Joy later took a job as a chairside assistant for a dentist in La Mesa because it was closer to their apartment by the college campus.
After Nat finished school at San Diego State University, they moved to Seattle where Nat attended the University of Washington. In Seattle, Joy worked as a dental assistant and attended Seattle Community College. During their first year in Seattle, Joy and Nat took advantage of the low cost of gasoline and the excellent gas mileage of their 1965 Volkswagen bug and spent the weekends driving around the scenic countryside. Friday nights were puzzle nights when they bought a 1000-piece puzzle for $0.88. The second year, after making more friends, they spent many weekends from November to June skiing in the nearby Cascade Mountains. They also did some canoeing and boating on Lake Washinton, visiting places of interest in Seattle, camping, as well as continuing to tour other parts of the state.
In June 1970, Joy and Nat returned to San Diego where Nat began working for General Dynamics, Electronics Division. They stayed busy with several endeavors and enjoyed travelling around the state taking in attractions like Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, LA and San Francisco, and Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks. Some of their favorite places to visit in San Diego were the world-famous San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park, Point Loma and its lighthouse with its spectacular panoramic views of the bay, the luxurious and historic Hotel del Coronado, and La Jolla Cove where the dynamic waves have carved out centuries-old sculptures into the rocks. Joy also attended San Diego Community College where she received an Associate of Arts Degree. She continued her studies by attending San Diego State University. Joy also used her talents of sewing, cooking, and arts and crafts to create products for family and friends, and also created gift items to sell at local gift shops. In October 1973, Joy and Nat welcomed their beautiful daughter Brynn and their lives changed dramatically, as all new parents are aware. Chaos was multiplied in November 1977 when son Brett arrived. The BK Era (Before Kids) had ended, and new adventures awaited Joy and Nat.
After Brett was born, Joy and Nat decided to take advantage of a promising opportunity with Nat’s brother in the real estate construction and development business. In March 1978, the Uptons moved from San Diego to Plano, TX when daughter Brynn was 4 years old and son Brett was almost 4 months old. Joy was kept busy caring for her household and two small children but always found time to help others with her compassion and talents. As the children grew older, Joy supported them in sporting events, dance, music, and other activities at their church and schools. At Prairie Creek Baptist Church in Plano, Joy contributed her talents with activities, especially for the children and youth. One special activity she created was a music program for the church’s pre-school program. With her mobile cart full of CDs, tapes, sheet music, and special effects to entertain, she exposed children to the very basics of music with a fun, interactive, and informative manner. The popularity of the program gained attention at other venues where she was asked to present her creative ideas and methods.
After the children got a little older, Joy decided to go back to work full time. She was interested in the healthcare field, and in order to get some experience, she accepted a job at a local nursing home as a nurse’s and physical therapist’s aide. While performing her duties there, she realized that she had greater ambitions and, especially, to ensure that the elder residents remained as active and involved as possible. She was able at her current job, on a limited basis, to increase and improve the activities available to residents. In doing so, she realized that she wanted to become more involved in planning and executing activities for larger elder groups. She found that opportunity with Presbyterian Village North (PVN), a large healthcare facility in Dallas.
For 21 years, as Activity/Life Enhancement Director at Joyce Hall assisted living at PVN, Joy planned and executed many exciting and entertaining events for her residents. Creativity, vision, compassion, and hard work were her hallmarks. Activity and involvement of her residents was her mission. Whether it was a trip to the Arboretum to see the Chihuly exhibit or to visit the Dallas Museum of Art to see major works of art or the entries of promising young artists from the local high schools, Joy wanted her residents to enjoy cultural events. And whether it was a drive to Ham Orchards in Terrell to pick up some fresh peaches or peach jam, or a drive down to Waxahachie for a Christmas fruit cake from Collin Street Bakery, Joy wanted her residents to have an adventure outside of their facility. Trips to see the Bluebonnets in bloom and the Christmas lights illuminating whole neighborhoods were annual events where residents saw examples of the beauty around them. Other trips included outings to White Rock Lake, the Federal Reserve Bank, Dallas Farmer’s Market, Historic Downtown McKinney, the Bath House Theatre, the Nasher Cultural Museum, the Crow Museum of Asian Art, the Kimbell Museum of Art, the Dallas Aquarium, a tour of Dallas, the Frontier of Flight Museum, and the Samurai Exhibition in Dallas. Joy also took her residents out to lunch frequently, and, once a month, they went out to dinner. At Joyce Hall, activities were provided to involve all of the residents. There was musical entertainment, including sing-a-longs where Joy would dance and sing to encourage her residents to get involved. Book reviews and speakers on current topics of interest to seniors were regular fare. Joy created special days, like Apple Day, Chocolate Day, or Spam Day. Ice Cream Tasting Day with staff members vying for the title of Best Ice Cream was always a delight for both the competitors and the residents. Each presentation included historical facts about her subject, recipes, and, of course, samples of the items. Apple Day included several varieties of apples, tasting of the apples, and Joy’s homemade apple pie. Joy also maintained a Pantry for the residents that carried items that residents could buy and not have to go out of the facility to do so. Joy learned the needs of the residents so well that she always had the item they wanted on hand when asked for it. Most were not aware of the amount of time Joy spent shopping for the residents, but they appreciated that Joy made life easier for them.
Joy loved to celebrate holidays and loved to decorate for them. While National Sandwich Day and National Potato Day got their due, it was the major holidays where Joy excelled. New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Memorial Day, July 4th, Veterans Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas were all opportunities to demonstrate her skills. Not only did Joy put a tremendous effort into her decorating for the holidays, but she also often played a part by dressing in character. One of her favorite costumes was her Christmas Elf. Of course, Christmas was her favorite holiday, and she went all out to decorate every space available. If there was an empty corner or a nook, it was decorated. There were decorated Christmas trees everywhere, from two feet to twenty feet tall. There were small items and large items. Many were homemade or assembled by Joy. There were Christmas scenes small and large. Joy displayed her collection of Nativity Scenes. Her collection of decorations grew every year. Over 21 years, most of the items were purchased or made by Joy and setting up and taking down the decorations and displays was a major two-month effort. After everything had been taken down and packed, it took a U-Haul truck to return them to their resting place for another year in Joy’s garage or storage unit. But Joy always felt that it was worth the effort since it brought so much “joy” to her, and especially to the residents.
At the end of 2018, Joy decided it was time to retire and let others take over her legacy. After unpacking the U-Haul after Christmas and storing all of the decorations, Joy contemplated her next step. It was not long afterwards, however, that word got out that she had left PVN. Tribute Senior Living, a new assisted living and memory care facility in Prosper, was close to opening their new facility. Joy was invited to come and interview for a part-time job. Instead, she returned to tell Nat that she was going back to work full-time as a concierge. She officially started working at Tribute in June 2019. With her many years of experience in the healthcare field, she provided an excellent resource for Tribute. She contributed her talent and enthusiasm wherever it was needed. She participated in many activities and continued to dance to the music, although the Irish Jig in heels was not a good idea. She used her vast collection of decorations to help celebrate holidays at Tribute. Above all, she shared her love and compassion to residents and staff in many ways, big and little, for that was what she felt was her calling.
Joy worked alongside so many wonderful people at PVN and Tribute. Many have become her best friends. All were so helpful and meaningful to her and encouraged her to become the person she was. They helped her fulfill her passion of helping seniors remain happy and involved.
Joy had always been blessed with good health, but in 2015, she was diagnosed with dermatomyositis, a rare disease that causes muscle weakness and rashes on your skin, a form of myopathy. Very reluctantly, Joy agreed to take a leave from work since she was getting weaker and the rash more severe. An accurate diagnosis from the doctors finally came and when the proper medications were administered, Joy’s condition improved significantly. She was determined to go back to work, and she did as soon as she was able. Since then, the dermatomyositis has continued to improve, but Joy still had some specific gastrointestinal problems that could not be resolved. A CT scan at the end of March this year showed that she had metastatic pancreatic cancer that was uncurable. The treatments Joy received for her dermatomyositis may have weakened her immune system making her susceptible to the cancer. Joy’s chemotherapy treatments for the cancer may have slowed its growth, but they did not arrest it. Sadly, on August 15th, the cancer took her life.
Joy loved her family, and they loved her. She was always so proud of her children and grandchildren and was always happy to see them. She did so many little things that showed how much she cared. Joy had a true servant’s heart. She was generous with her time, her resources, and her affection. She scarcely knew the meaning of the word “no.” She was always there to volunteer, listen, give advice, and pray. We will all miss that outpouring of love and thoughtfulness she would show through her notes, gifts, and ability to make every person, and every holiday, feel special. We will miss her dearly.
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