Brenda W. Feder

Brenda W Feder passed away at her Westerville home on Sunday morning, February 4 at the age of 72, in the loving presence of her husband Jan, daughter Emma and son-in-law David. Brenda was born February 14, 1951 in Logan WV to Garner and Pat Weir. She was the oldest of four children and spent most of her childhood in Whitehall and then Reynoldsburg, OH.

She graduated from Reynoldsburg High School in 1969 and from Ohio State University in 1973. She earned a J.D. from the Ohio State University Moritz College of Law in 1977. As an attorney, Brenda was an advocate for the underprivileged and the vulnerable. She was a Public Defender for Franklin County from 1977-1980 and then a Law Guardian in Westchester County, NY for several years in the 1980s, representing the interests of minor children, often in cases involving neglect and abuse. She later transitioned into private law practice.

Music was important to her; as a child and young adult, Brenda took lessons and enjoyed playing the piano. She was also largely self-taught on the banjo. Despite several serious medical issues, Brenda persevered for many years and remained a vital part of her immediate and extended family.

Brenda will be missed terribly by loving husband Jan, daughter Emma (David) Williams, parents Garner and Pat Weir, siblings Terri Case, Jon (Cindy) Weir, and Chris (David) Dryden.

A memorial service will be held Sunday, Feb 11 at 1:00 pm at Schoedinger Northeast Funeral Home, 1051 E. Johnstown Rd, Gahanna, OH, with visitation to follow from 2pm until 4pm. In Brenda’s memory, family encourages guests to wear Valentine-appropriate attire to celebrate our Valentine girl’s bright and loving spirit. We will welcome anecdotes to share with all during the service.

Contributions may be made in Brenda’s memory to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research.

For those unable to attend the service, Brenda's Husband, Jan, gave the following Eulogy in loving memory -

Thank you all for coming today to honor Brenda. She was smart, she was strong

and tough, yet loving and compassionate; warm and welcoming. And she loved

a good laugh.

Brenda fought through medical issues with a determination that defied medical

science. On more than one occasion over the past few years, we were told

Brenda would not leave the hospital alive. She was the toughest person I have

ever known. She never complained about the terrible hand she was dealt, and

she never displayed any self pity. If that doesn’t convince you of her strength and

resilience, consider that she lived with me for 51 years.

Brenda was smart. An honors student at high school and at OSU. An

independent thinker too; how many sociology majors have you met? Then she

earned a JD from the OSU Law school.

She was an advocate for the underprivileged and the vulnerable. After

graduating law school, she took a job with the Franklin County Public Defender’s

office, in the juvenile section. She once related a colleague’s courtroom

experience where the judge asked the 13 year-old defendant “You’re accused of

burglary, car theft and resisting arrest. What do you have to say for yourself?”

The kid replied “That’s life in the fast lane.” Speaking of the fast lane, very soon

after taking this first “real world” job, Brenda bought herself a pretty little Fiat

Spyder convertible. So yeah, she liked her toys too.

After we moved to New York, where Bren had to pass a 2nd bar exam, she

frequently worked as a “law guardian,” representing the interests of minor

children, often in cases involving neglect and abuse. Certainly a difficult job

where there were very few happy endings.

Bren came from a wonderful and wonderfully tight-knit and loving family. And I

want to express my love and gratitude to Bren’s parents and siblings, and to my

sister Susan, and the care-givers: Rusty, Jerry, and Candace for helping Emma

and I get through Brenda’s health struggles over the past several years, and

ultimately through the past weeks as Bren’s body finally couldn’t fight on any

longer.

Bren and I had great memories of times spent with the Weir clan. Whether it was

a special occasion, like skiing at Vail or houseboating on Lake Cumberland, or

holiday gatherings at Jon and Cindy’s, or just gathering at Mimi and Pawpaw’s,

the get-togethers were always full of love and laughter. Sometimes the laughing

lasted so long that nobody could recall what they were laughing about.

Bren did love to shop, and she did not let the wheelchair stop her. She had great

times going out with Emma and David, or with Terri and Chris, which usually

included uncontrollable laughter. And she loved her chocolate. A few years ago,

when the family once again pitched in to help us move, they turned up stashes of

chocolates Brenda had squirreled away. That was when Jon discovered that

given enough time, even chocolate can go bad.

And of course, there’s Brenda’s boundless love for Emma. I think it was Jon

who recently reminded us of the T-shirts Brenda’s siblings gave us in the early

1990s. They were imprinted with “Oops, I forgot to have kids.” But after 22

years of marriage, we finally got it right, and brought Emma into this world.

Soon thereafter, Brenda dedicated herself to loving, guiding, and encouraging

our daughter to be the wonderful and accomplished young woman she has

become.

Lest you all think Brenda was the perfect angel, I’ll tell you that she had a couple

run-ins with the law. Once, in high school she was apprehended at the Burger

Boy for violating Reynoldsburg’s 11:00 curfew. And more recently she skipped

out of Nashville without paying a parking ticket.

Brenda and I met in the 7th grade. We first dated as seniors in high school. We

went to the prom together. We married in 1972 between our junior and senior

years at OSU. Whenever someone would ask us how we met, I used to try to

irritate Bren by stealing a line from an old friend, “I’ve known my wife all my life,

but somehow it seems longer.”

But now I know it wasn't nearly long enough.