Annette Payne

It is with broken hearts that the family of Annette Payne, RN, SCM, announce her passing on 7 April, 2014, following her valiant and courageous fight with cancer. Annette was born in Banbury, England to Sylvia and Derrick Greenway, and grew up there as big sister to her brothers Dudliegh and Adam. She was a proud graduate of the Queen Alexandra’s Royal Naval Nursing Service (QARNNS), and was serving in Plymouth when she met her husband Richard who was there on course from the Royal Canadian Navy. She also completed her training and qualification as a State Certified Midwife, before moving to Canada and marrying Richard almost 35 years ago. In Canada, she lived and worked as a Registered Nurse in Halifax, Victoria, Ottawa, and Saint John. In recent years, she had been nursing in the Capital Health District on the 6th floor of the Abbey Lane, and at the Nova Scotia Hospital. Annette was a consummate health care professional who was highly respected and admired by her colleagues wherever she worked across Canada. She was also an active volunteer in the performing arts community in Halifax, and had recently served as President of the Maritime Conservatory of Performing Arts Alumni. Annette was known for her energy and fun-loving attitude, whether at work, or at play; and was always the life of the party with friends and family. She especially loved to organize and host dinners, and devoured cookbooks, planning and baking holiday fares well in advance of the season. She will be sadly missed by all who knew her. The dear lifelong partner and best friend to Richard, and a loving and caring mother to Rachelle; the cherished only daughter to Sylvia and Derrick, a doting big sister to Dudliegh and Adam, and a beloved aunt to Andrew, Stephanie, Jenna, Mellissa, and Emilie; she was so very proud of all of her family, relatives, and in laws. A very special thank you is extended to all of the health care staff and volunteers on 7A Palliative Care, her home away from home these last several months, and also to the doctors and nurses at the Halifax Infirmary, and to her terrific homecare specialists - Patsy and Kim. Cremation will take place, and a memorial service will be held for Annette in the Cathedral Church of All Saints, 1330 Martello St, Halifax, on Wednesday, 16 April, at 14:00. A celebration of Annette’s life will be arranged at a later date in Banbury, England, for her many family and friends there. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Canadian Cancer Society, or to the QE2 Foundation.

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EULOGY

delivered by the Reverend Keirsten Wells

Annette’s Funeral Service, 16 April 2014

Cathedral Church of All Saints, Halifax, Nova Scotia

We are gathered here today to honor an exceptional person. A nurse who devoted her life to the wellbeing of others. A mother who nurtured and protected her family and friends. A friend who elevated and inspired us all to be as selfless as she was in her life.

In September 2013, Annette and her family faced their greatest challenge when she was diagnosed with cancer. What began as a steady illness that could be regulated soon unraveled into something that would be insurmountable. Cancer may have claimed Annette’s life, yet it did nothing to erase her unwavering belief and determination against it, even in her final hours. In that respect her opponent never won, and will never win. As Harper Lee so wisely penned …“courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It’s knowing you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do”. Annette’s courage and resolve in her final months, days, and hours resonates perfectly in these words and is a tribute to how we should lead our lives.

To many of you here today, Annette was a Nurse colleague, and a close friend in the workplace. As you know, Annette proudly wore the initials Registered Nurse (RN) and State Certified Midwife (SCM) after her name. Annette did not see Nursing as just a job, nor even as a profession, but truly as a vocation, a calling, one that she truly loved. She was always the strongest of advocates on behalf of her patients, and her patients admired and respected her for it. Wherever she served, her colleagues always enjoyed being on duty with her. You see, Annette learned a lot about Nursing from the Nursing Sisters she trained under in England. There was never an argument on Annette’s shift as to who was to be the Charge Nurse. She assumed the role, and much to everyone’s delight, she never hesitated in putting doctors in their place, when required, especially the young interns … she considered it her “mentoring” duty to show them who was in charge of the ward ;-) She loved you all, and together with you, was especially devastated when Stuart, a fellow RN, suddenly passed just two years ago. Nursing is a very tough business, but all of you, to a person, were committed and supportive to her during her illness. Not a day went by without one or more of you visiting her, making her feel that she was still part of the team at 6 Lane, and at Transitional Hall, despite her absence on illness. It helped her tremendously in facing her cancer, and gave her hope.

To friends past and present, Annette was known for her energy, her joie de vivre. She only lived at one speed ….fast forward, regardless of the endeavor at hand. She was the life of the party, and loved to entertain. She was at her best in the kitchen, cookbooks all around her, cooking up a storm and planning dinners for family and friends. And according to Richard, she made the best, lightest, fluffiest, tastiest pie crust in the world :-) This was especially so when she was angry about something when kneading the dough, pounding the daylights out of it. Of course, Richard was only too happy to oblige in this “secret” ingredient, and to start an argument with her at this timely juncture in the recipe!

To her Mom and Dad, Annette was always their very special little girl, their one and only beloved daughter. It was hard for them to let her leave home, at the very young age of 17, so that she could pursue her dream of undertaking Nurse training at the prestigious Guy’s Hospital , in London; and then after with Queen Alexandra’s Royal Naval Nursing Service. It must have been even more difficult for them to accept her decision to marry Richard and to move far far away to that colony called Canada. But throughout Annette’s life, her Mom and Dad were always there for her, and she was always there for them. She was truly happy that her Mummy and Daddy came to Canada to be with her in these final weeks of her life.

To her younger brothers Dudliegh and Adam, she was the quintessential big sister, leading and bossing them about, her arms and legs flailing, protecting them from all childhood obstacles and dangers. They loved her equally, and always listened to and accepted her advice, generously meted out to them of course as big sisters are prone to do. In a letter from Adam very recently, he remembered her, in a teasing way, for exercising their patience, on Christmas mornings, making them wait for her to wake up, before the presents could be opened :-) Oh, and by the way, for also being forced to listen to Nana Mouskouri on the record player, over and over and over again :-) That was the kind of sister she was, but in truth, they were oh so very very proud of her.

To her nephew Andrew and her nieces Stephanie, Jenna, Mellissa, and Emilie; their Aunty Annette was one of a kind. She followed their young, then adolescent, and now adult pursuits and accomplishments with very much interest. With Mellissa and Emilie, she would always make a point of speaking with them “en francais”, even though it is suspected that some things may have occasionally been lost in translation :-) Annette’s command of the French language can best be characterized as playground French, which she picked up living in Aylmer Quebec, where Rachelle grew up and first went to school. But she did try, much to her credit, to speak French well and correctly, being a British living in a French Canadian neighborhood.

For Rachelle, her Mom meant everything to her that a daughter could wish a Mom to be. Annette was the epitome of a devoted mother, nurturing, caring, encouraging Rachelle every step of the way. There is a saying that “no love compares to a mother’s love of a child”, and that is certainly true of Annette’s love of Rachelle. Rachelle always was and always will be her “baby girl”, but at the same time, no one was prouder of the bright and talented young woman that Rachelle has become. Her spirit lives in you Rachelle, and she is at peace knowing that you will continue to soar through your life to even greater heights of achievement and accomplishment.

To Richard, you could not have picked a better partner to share in married life these past 35 years. You have both come a long way, and have experienced together much of what life can be, both in happiness and in sorrow. You’ve both been blessed with a strong and loving relationship, one that started at a party in England in 1977, when Richard arrived entering through a window, and literally falling into Annette’s lap :-) That was when you first met, and the rest, as they say, is history :-) Your love for each other was unquestionable, and stood its mettle especially in this last ordeal, where you stood by her side and endured her illness with her with every fibre of strength, encouragement, and morale. I know that you two had great plans in your retirement years, a journey that you Richard will now have to follow on your own. You will miss her by your side as you travel on, but you must keep her advice and her wishes for you to continue to live life to the fullest, both on her behalf, and for your own sake. Annette’s love for you will endure forever, in your happy memories of her.

Let it be said that Annette has lived a rich life, and never one of half measures. Her legacy is one of a selflessness; a loving, caring person, who was always considerate of others before herself. This was very evident during her year- long battle with illness. As we attempted, in our individual ways, to help her, and grieve with her; she would end up comforting us instead, with tenderness and affection. She was sad about her fate, but never angered by it. She instead held our hands, made us laugh, and showed us the courage to live on, with happy memories of her. We must not let her down.

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