Vivian Havens

VIVIAN BLUITT HAVENS

My mother was born on April 7, 1915, in the Beech Grove community near Jasper, Texas. She was the daughter of Margaret Louise Martindale and Nimmie Horace Glenn. She lived her childhood there and in another nearby community known as Camp Ground. She graduated from Jasper High School. She got the opportunity to go to Schneir Business School (College) in Beaumont as companion to her dear friend and cousin, Reba Martindale, who was a polio survivor compromised by the use of crutches (except in her mind). Cousin Reba became homesick and so they did not stay in Beaumont very long. Reba returned to Jasper, and not understanding any limitations from her bout with polio Reba went on to become Treasurer of Jasper County. Mama returned to Beaumont where she took a job in a beauty shop and apprenticed that trade until she became a licensed beautician. While in Beaumont she met and married my father, J. B. Havens, and remained married to him until his death in October of 1974. Her body will be interned next to her husband and next to her second son, my younger brother who died shortly after birth.

She is also predeceased by her sister, Vera Brack of Marshall, Texas, her brother, Joe Duke Glenn of San Francisco, California, her niece, Sandra Brack of Marshall, Texas and many cousins in both Jasper and Tyler counties.

In addition to me she is survived by my two children, her grandson, James Baxter Havens II of Houston, and her granddaughter, TeressaVonne Estes of Livingston, Texas; by four great grandchildren, Kerstan Simone Havens, Mekayla Marie Havens, James Baxter Havens III and Charlie Ann Fowler; great niece, Jennifer Pugh; numerous cousins across East Texas; many great friends and companions.

She lived with my father in Houston, Texas, New Orleans, Louisiana and Sugar Land, Texas. Several years after my father's death she returned to Jasper to live her retirement. About five years ago she returned to Houston to the Eagle's Trace independent living community to complete her retirement.

My mother was a woman of great faith. There was no way to know her and not realize the strength of her faith. She lived her life according to the old Methodist creed of “all things in moderation”. Her life was measured in every aspect. She was the epitome of temperance. She was a life long Methodist and a member of the Methodist church wherever she lived. I often wondered about her faith and where it came from. In President George W. Bush's great book, Decision Points, he recalls a visit to the Bush family compound in Kennebunkport, Maine by Billy Graham. Here is President George W. Bush’s passage:

“In the summer of 1985, we took our annual trip to Maine. Mother and Dad had invited the great evangelical preacher Billy Graham. Dad had asked him to answer some questions from the family after dinner. That was typical of Dad, always willing to share. It would have sent a signal of importance to have had Billy to himself, but that is not George H. W. Bush. He is a generous man, devoid of a big ego. So there we sat, about thirty of us – Laura, my grandmother, brothers and sister, first and second cousins – in the large room at the end of the house on Walker's Point.

The first question was from Dad. He said, “Billy, some people say you have to have a born-again experience to go the heaven. Mother (my grandmother) here is the most religious, kind person I know, yet she has had no born-again experience. Will she go to heaven?” Wow, pretty profound question from the old man. We all looked at Billy, and in his quiet, strong voice, he replied, “George, some of us require a born-again experience to understand God, and some of us are born Christians. It sounds as if your mom was just born a Christian.””

To understand my Mom's great faith you simply have to understand, as Billy Graham said, she was just born a Christian.

My mother's life was simple and straight forward; and, by her design without extraneous trappings. She was interested in her faith, her family, her friends and her home. Those interests consumed her. She was one of the world's great cooks. Those who were privileged to dine at her table know it; those who did not missed a great treat. She made cakes, pies and cookies for everyone. She enjoyed nothing more than serving family and friends in her home. She was the epitome of southern gentility in the kindest, caring, sharing sense of that term. Her approach to everything was simple, straight forward without undue aggrandizement. She was comfortable with the patois of East Texas and knew its refinements. When she used “going to the pea patch with Aunt Alma” she expected you to know it was a social event; when she said “dinner on the ground” she expected you to know it was a church event and not spilled lunch. She knew to say “Excuse me, where is the public restroom?' and not “Where is the bathroom?” These are the simple qualities of a grand and simply noble lady. She much preferred going when beckoned by the first frost to “hog killin' and sausage makin'” at her Uncle Jimmie's than going on a world cruise or similar event. One honored family and tradition; the other was extravagant. She went to the Jasper rodeo every year as the guest of her cousin, Virgil Martindale. They were good friends. She didn't care about the rodeo; she loved him and wanted to be with him. She went to London in 1972 with my father. She enjoyed the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, the Changing of the Guard and the wonders of Tutankhamen on display at the British Museum of Natural History. But she traveled to London because her son and grandchildren were there; the tourist attractions were simply a bonus.

One of her passions, along with my father, was my education. They both came from meager beginnings and realized those who achieved higher education were advantaged. Therefore, I grew up in a home where it was a given that I would go to college, the only unknown being which one. Their lifelong encouragement and subtle insistence is responsible for my wonderful education. I am forever indebted to them for that greatest of gifts.

Some of you have mentioned to me during her long goodbye how unfair it was for Mama to be in that condition for so long. I was also troubled by that fate and I know her grandchildren and great grandchildren have been troubled about why she would have to go through such a period. Those answers are so difficult to find. I am reminded of Camus' treatise, The Myth of Sysphus, and the frustration of the rock rolling back every time Sysphus got it close to the top and the endless toil of trying over and over again. I am quite sure I never understood that book like my professor wanted and hoped I would; but I think of that story when trying to find the answer over and over again without success.

So I want to offer my children and grandchildren my thoughts which I hope they will find comforting and maybe some of the others of you will find them useful as well. In the 11th Chapter of Hebrews 1st verse is written “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” There are times and events in life for which there are simply no good human answers. MaMa's and great MaMa's death is such an event. Why should she have been allowed to linger? I don't know the answer, but here is an explanation – a path to understanding what we can't know. Think of an eclipse. One object passes in front of another diminishing its light and finally covering the object. Before the eclipse we can see the object and, therefore know its shape, size, color, etc. When the eclipse begins part of the object becomes opaque, but we can still see some of it and we know what the covered portion is like because we just saw it. It is easy to have faith about what the opaque portion of the object is like, because we can still see portions of it. Then the eclipse becomes complete and the object is gone. We cannot see it, hear it, know it in any sensual way. However, we know it is there. We make that leap of faith. While you may not be able to see the reason for MaMa's and great MaMa's last condition just be assured that like the eclipsed object you cannot see, there is a GRAND REASON you cannot see. Let not you hearts be troubled. You can find comfort in the kind of faith described above in Hebrews.

All of us were blessed by Mama’s life.

I love you Mama,

Jimmy

In lieu of flowers the family requests donations to the Methodist Children’s Home, 1111Herring Avenue, Waco, Texas 76708, 800.853.1272, www.methodistchildrenshome.org.