Better late than never, but thought I'd share this memory that proves that Gigi was right.  It was one particular summer trip up to Alabama when I was 9 years old.  Like many have talked about her love for sports and baseball, we all went to see a Huntsville Stars minor league game.  I think it was a foul ball (because homerun outfield seats would have been too far to see the game) that came over and landed right near us and somehow I was the one that got to keep that ball.  Before Gigi gave me the ball, she said, "You know this is a special date and I'm going to write the date on this ball, that way you'll never forget what and when this happened."  Well, she was right, through the years and moves and kids, and dogs, I still keep that ball with the special date on it of 8-8-88.  Even more special is that when I see it I think of my sweet Grandmother and Grandad!  Thanks for all the love and memories.

Mom's 93rd birthday at Birmingham Botanical Gardens

I will always be grateful for the amazing memories I enjoyed with my grandmother.  Both she and Grandad were involved in my life at every milestone. Graduations, birthdays, volleyball tournaments, my wedding and after 6 weeks for each of my girls’ births!  My grandmother Lavender had a unique way of making everyone feel comfortable. Her warm, friendly personality that took life in stride made her a very special person to all who knew her!  Card games, camping trips, water skiing, day trips ...my grandmother made our summer visits as kids so fun!  As I grew up… she always was interested in what I was doing.  Even though we lived a state away… she and my grandad made the trip to see my sports tournaments, ensemble concerts or anything I was involved in during high school and college.  As an adult she and I would talk about her childhood  memories she had growing up.  She took the time to write some of her childhood memories and included some family photos in a small journal she gave to me several years ago.  Of all the gifts she has given me over the years...Sharing her life with me will be the most valuable of them all.  I love you, grandmother. 

I don't have as many memories of Gigi as my sisters do, but the ones I do have I will cherish forever.  Every time I went to her house I would look forward to the moose tracks ice cream and Chapstick she would always give me!  My favorite memory at her house was when we would go Easter egg hunting in the backyard (even if it wasn’t Easter)  She would always make me laugh and she took care of me when I hit my head on the corner of the cabinet.  She was always kind and loving.

Bible Verses:

Mom’s favorite:
John 14: 1-7 and 27
Psalm 23

Verses that represent how Mom lived:
1st Corinthians 13: 4-7 and 13
Galatians 5:22


“We love Mrs. Lavender!” That’s what everyone at the care home would say. They only knew my great-grandmother for a fraction of the time I knew her, but even then they fell in love with her joyful attitude and kind heart.  She was a huge part of my life - visiting both her and Big Daddy every summer and often at Thanksgiving growing up as well as they would try to come to all our big events.   My favorite memories are being at her house playing card games like Skipbo and Uno!   As her eyesight got worse, she still liked to play with us, but we had to mark the green and blue cards so she could tell the difference.  I will miss those visits. 

Mom grew up in Hueytown, AL and graduated from Fairfield High School where she played trombone in the band.  Married to Rob Lavender for 68 years, she has lived in Birmingham, Tuscaloosa, Cambridge MA, Ft Worth TX, Los Angeles, Huntsville. They traveled full time in an RV for five years throughout the United States & Canada; and followed the Crimson Tide around during football season.  Many people thought they were crazy when they sold their home to live in an RV.

She was fun to be around – loved to smile, laugh and kid around.  Even the caregivers in Memory Care said she cheered them up and “kidded” with them by telling them they needed to behave.

Being an avid sports fan, she was a HUGE fan of the Atlanta Braves and the Alabama football team – the love of baseball & the Braves was instilled in her grandson, Scott.  The love of Alabama football was a great source of kidding around since both children went to Auburn.  She and Rob spent many years square dancing where they made lifelong friends.  

They especially enjoyed being at Smith Lake and having their grandkids come every summer – this meant so much over the years to them and to Karen, Scott and Dave who started coming for a summer visit when they were very young and into their college years.   She loved her grandchildren very much!  Great grandchildren were so special to her, she loved being with them and laughing at the many funny things they say like “Gigi, you don’t have to cook anymore carrots”.

She was very giving and always thought of others first.  She would not eat a cookie unless she could share with you or she was sure you had one of your own.  When a new resident moved into Memory Care, she would pat them on their hand and encourage them.  Always there for her family, she knew just the right thing to say at the right time to be encouraging.

At 94, Elizabeth’s life was well lived.  She lived these words:  Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued, loved and supported.

Gigi was always my favorite person to talk to growing up.  She never failed to laugh at my silly jokes, and I’m pretty sure she might have been the only one to think I was funny.  Another favorite thing about Gigi was that she would let me help fix meals with her.  I thought I was being a huge help when in reality I was just her taste tester!  She was such a kind, sweet, and loving grandmother! I will miss her very much. 

                                      Mom’s Funeral
Denise and I wanted to share some moments over the last 4 years while she was in memory care. As her physical and mental health slowed down, her spirit remained strong. She was loving, kind, empathetic and of course still had her wicked sense of humor.
When new people moved into memory care. Mom was there with a gentle hand and reassurance that all was going to be ok.
She was always a kidder. When the caregivers would complement her, she responded “You’re just saying that…cause it’s true”
She could also be assertive when needed. Long hall with individual rooms. Often, we would visit in her room. Sometimes a “wonderer” would come into her room. She made it clear we were having a private meeting… and they needed to wonder somewhere else!

When we would pick her up to go somewhere, we would get her to sit in the front seat. She always wanted to know If I needed help putting her walker in the back and if Denise needed to sit up front to tell me what to do. 
She loved going out for rides. On days that there was blue sky and white clouds she loved the “puffies”. And we never knew what state we were in. “These people in Georgia sure keep things nice”
Her eyesight got worse and she needed glasses to see pictures or read. But when we were walking down the hall, she could see the smallest speck on the floor and was certain to pick it up.

Her last days were unfortunately in the covid hall at the hospital. We could not be with her in her final days like we did with Rob. However, we will remember the last time we saw her. A beautiful crisp fall day. Outside on the patio of the garden in memory care during our 30-minute visitations. Denise was showing her pic on our pink iPad., something she always enjoyed. Talked Alabama football and the Braves. When we left, as was her custom, she thanked us numerous times for coming to see her…and to kiss the babies…kiss the babies. Well mom that will be an easy promise… to kiss the babies. 

Mom wrote the below prayer on an index card - we found this in her belongings.  

First—and lasting—memories of my grandmother were of laughing and cheering…  

She was always joking with us, making us laugh… Even when her mind and memory got shaky recently, she never really lost her wit and her sense of humor.

…and cheering on Bama—“Roll Tide”—or the Braves, who we spent hours in the summer listening to on the radio or watching on TBS since way back in the Bob Horner and Dale Murphy days.  I was still yelling at—rooting for—the Braves even just a couple weeks ago.  Could hear her voice in my head saying, “Well for cryin' out loud!” as the Braves made some key base running blunders that cost them this last series with the Dodgers.

Her saying, “for cryin' out loud,” is actually one of the first memories I had of Grandma making me laugh until I was in tears…I don’t think initially she was actually trying to be funny this time but I had never heard that phrase before and it struck my 6-7 yr old funny bone.  And I don’t remember exactly what triggered that response—we were out on the patio, and I think I dropped something, or knocked it over or broke something…but almost immediately she was laughing, too.  What could have been frustrating, she made funny; she probably should have been mad at me, but instead made me laugh.  And my memory is of the uncontrollable laughter, not the fault.

I was visiting her and Grandad in Huntsville in the summer as I usually did growing up.
Still have the scars on my knees that she cleaned and bandaged up after I did something else dumb like riding a tricycle I was way too old and big for down a neighbor’s driveway across from the house on Cumberland; to the endless summers cheering for the Braves, swimming at Steeplechase pool; and of course camping, Smith Lake and Arley, AL. The fried eggs in the morning, that jar of Postum, playing cards for hours, Skipbo or Rummy, peeling the label off those short round glass Mello Yello bottles, bouncing around with my cousins on the Ski Bob, learning to water ski...(cont.)

(Cont.) playing pool, heading in to Arley to the Pleezin' Pizza.  Should be noted that Grandma knew her way around a boat, knew how to pull skiers, what to do when we yelled “hit it!” These experiences really had a sort of outsized influence on my life, and on my perspectives on this life. So thankful I had those times, those moments to be able to take extended breaks from a normal routine, to go slow but also to grow and learn a lot.
 
But we didn’t always have to go over the river and thru the woods to grandmother’s house. For one thing, they lived full-time on wheels for a while, but regardless of where or in what they lived, they also came to see us a lot, support our activities, school and sports. I grew up in Greenville, SC, my cousins, Karen & David, in Orlando, FL, and they would still be there for us—rooting us on, showing us how proud they were. And there’s a rumor floating around that Grandma may have yelled at a ref once or twice at a soccer game on my behalf.
 
When Charlie was born and we moved to Ann Arbor, MI, they were the first to visit, to make that long trip.  Again, always there for us, whether a regular season game or major milestones.
 
One of the things Grandma gave me most recently was a housewarming gift when we moved into our new home in Montgomery—moving back to Bama after many years in many different places much further away—and while she couldn’t really get out and shop for us at that point, she was still thinking of us, and wanted us to get something nice…think we put the money towards a pressure washer, and so I’ll think of her every time we are cleaning the patio…but more importantly, I still keep this card in my office, on my desk to remind me of what’s always more important than work, of building a loving home and family.  Her handwriting, the old-school cursive, is also comforting somehow.
 
She was also, it should be said, a great support and complement to Grandad; from typing up his thesis at MIT... (cont.)

(Cont.)...to helping Grandad take it easier if he ever got wound up about something, or maybe got impatient or something. Rare as that was. ;-)  Sometimes with a simple, “Now Rob…”
 
I can attest to how her spirit lives on in her daughter, my mother, kind and patient with my boys, leading less with judgment and more with love. Always there for me, my wife, our dogs ;-) and our boys, who will no doubt have the same important memories of her, their DiDi, as I have of my grandma.
 
Be kind and patient, see the best in situations and people, cheer for them and root them on, faithfully, and don’t forget to laugh, don’t lose you sense of humor. This is what my Grandma taught me, these are the gifts she has given me and all of us I think who knew her.
 
These are the things we all need in this world and perhaps especially in these times.
 
I know now that any of the confusion she has had recently, where her mother or her husband was, those questions have been answered and she’s helping them laugh again in a better place, too.
 
So today, while we are sad, and definitely will miss her, we also celebrate and appreciate—more than anything I feel grateful—for her good, long life and these memories and the way she shaped and supported us.  We love you, Grandma/GiGi.

Remembering this precious neighbor and all the good and thoughtful times we had sharing our little cul-de-sac many years ago when we were young.  She leaves us with many wonderful memories.   May she Rest In Peace.

                      Jerry, Rosemary,  Barbara and Janet

OBITUARY

Elizabeth "Liz" Lavender

May 15, 1926 – October 23, 2020

Valhalla Funeral Home & Memory Gardens

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