Brayden Isaiah Danahy

On May 15th, just shy of his 23rd birthday, the world lost an amazing soul. In most circumstances like this the cause of death is omitted or glossed over, however, we want to remove the stigma and shame associated with suicide by telling the world our dear Brayden took his own life. We were never ashamed of him during his life, so why should we be ashamed to share his cause of death? That just further adds to the stigma and nobody should ever have to whisper about suicide.

Anyone who knew Brayden knew how much he loved his family. Brayden is still loved, cherished and forever missed by his parents, Kimberly and Ian Petersen and Anthony and Juanita Pinheiro. His siblings, who were also his first friends, include, Justin, Amaryn, Aaron, Frankie, Logen, Karissa, Keagan, Kameren, Tovah, Talon, and Hudson. The army that always banded together when one was in need will never be the same again. If one couldn't sit, then they all stood.

Also missing him dearly are his grandparents, Grandpa Henning, Gokmis Mary, and Grandpa Rick (Kathy), nieces and nephews who were the apple of his eye and who brought him so much joy, Ivy, Kadence, Lailah, and Anakin. His Aunties, Mabel- who delivered him and saw his sweet face first, Loretta, and Jennifer (Don) and his Uncles Mike (Theresa) Sid, Adam, and Paul (Christine).

Brayden leaves behind his girlfriend of 4 years, Shailyn who will forever be heartbroken. It really is true that you never know what someone is going through and nobody really knew the entire truth except Shailyn. She was there for him and stood by his side through more ups and downs than anyone ever should or has. Through the trying times, she remained graceful and quiet when most others would be sharing whatever the latest argument was about. Even when Brayden did that, she didn't. That is remarkable for someone her age to stand tall in the face of rumors and backlash. Her choices should be a reminder that no one is perfect, no one knows both sides of any story entirely and that protecting Brayden was always most important to her. For that and many more reasons, we embrace her fully and she will always be a part our family. To do anything less would disrespect our Brayden.

Gone before him and waiting with open arms and quite possibly a good smack but also a plate of food are Avo and Avo, Uncle Joe, Aunt Maria, Grandma Petersen, Nanny Jane, Papere Emery, and Granny.

Brayden will be remembered for so many things. His love of anything with wheels (his dad definitely started that), his cats Churro and Neo that he was so proud to have adopted, his big bushy beard that he could have started growing at age 5, and how much he loved his car. Most of all, everyone knew how he loved and lived for his friends.

Brayden would do anything for his friends whenever they asked including helping Jasper move to Thunder Bay even if it meant being on his first ever plane ride and doing it alone. When Jaiden wanted to go fishing in the middle of January, Brayden was there even though he hated the cold. When Christian needed advice, Brayden would blow up my phone at any hour and even call my friends until he got the answers he needed. That's the kind of friend he was.

When Brayden was born, he had his 2 older brothers waiting for him. Aaron and Keagan weren’t just his big brothers; they were also his mentors, best friends and at times, I'm sure they were his tormentors. He looked up to them for everything. From homework and school projects, to having girlfriends and how to drive a car. When I was worried that they wouldn’t bond because of the 5 and 10 year age gap, they proved me wrong over and over.

When he was 6 months old, our family grew. This was monumental in his life because he finally got a dad. Anthony and his entire family took Brayden into their hearts and we all often joked that Brayden was treated better than Anthony’s biological kids by his family. Not only did Brayden get a dad, he also got 3 new siblings. Justin, Amy and Logen who adored him because he was the youngest and the loudest when he cried.

All of Brayden’s siblings taught him something but the most important thing they taught him was how to be the best big brother he could be. He was more than ready when we had his baby brothers Talon and Hudson. Brayden adored them and was always trying to teach them something. Whether it was beating the next level in a game or how to get their chores done extra fast, he loved being their big brother.

Brothers and sisters are your best friends growing up and at times, your biggest pain in the ass and worst enemy. No matter what was happening, Brayden always had his pick of who to have fun with or who to annoy.

When Brayden was 8, our family dynamics changed. With Anthony and I divorcing, Brayden now had 2 homes. Because of the promise Anthony and I made to each other to always love the kids more than we could hate one another; Brayden never had to feel like he had to choose between parents or siblings.

Between the ages of 10 and 12, our crazy family grew again. To our surprise, there was someone out there for both of us who was crazy enough to step in to the madness that we call our family. Brayden got a new bonus mom Juanita and a new bonus dad Ian (Pops). This also meant he was lucky enough to get even more siblings! Ian brought Karissa, Kameren and Tovah who shared laughter, inside jokes and memories to last a lifetime. Juanita brought Frankie who can confirm just how annoying the siblings can be.

Brayden also loved to rap and made several videos. He made one to honor a dear friend Millie who also took her life at the age of 14, another for Ian and I before we got married and another to express his pain and anguish that he carried inside him. All he ever wanted was to be accepted and loved from those who never did or never would. The trauma that a child carries forward from rejection is raw and real.

While we know the tragic outcome of Brayden’s pain and suffering, we are also taking this time to mention the things that made it so much worse.

Brayden’s death was stupid and impulsive and he would not have taken his own life if he wasn’t intoxicated. He had plans and goals and was looking forward to coming home to the North to help his Pops and Grampa with building the family home. He was looking forward to one of his best friends moving in and was full of hope for rebuilding and renewing his life with his love.

Drinking sabotaged all that. It made him feel hopeless and helpless. Even though he spoke with many people in the days, hours and minutes before his death, and even though he was on the phone with the love of his life while she begged and pleaded with him, he refused to hear it. He simply turned his phone around so she could see what he was about to do and then he did it. He did not leave a note. He did not ask for help. Alcohol brought down those prefabricated walls, and only left behind thoughtless pain and a million questions that will never be answered.

Kids drink and do drugs because they want to escape their own false personalities and perceived realities. As a society, as parents, family, friends and human beings, we must be the agents of change.

Now our sweet Brayden is finally at rest and I hold him close within me. I ask that everyone one of you hold him close within you too. Remember the meaning and feeling of this awful heart wrenching tragedy.

If someone says they want to kill themselves, tell someone. Don’t leave them alone. Sit with them. Listen to them. Check on them often. If they are drinking too much, say something. It’s not a game; it’s a symptom. Let us all find the courage within ourselves to be the change for those left behind.

There is no person to blame. There is no specific event that is the reason or cause. Instead of trying to find someone or something to be angry at, we ask that you focus on the things you can do in Brayden’s memory. Remove the secrets and shame from mental health issues. Be kinder to one another.

Friends will be received at the WESTMOUNT MEMORIAL CELEBRATION CENTRE, 1001 Ottawa Street South, Kitchener, (519-743-8900), on Monday, May 27th from 2-4 & 7-9pm. A Funeral Service will be held in the Funeral Home Chapel on Tuesday, May 28th at 1pm.

As expressions of sympathy, we ask that you either donate to the Waterloo Region Suicide Prevention Council or share the Suicide Crisis Help Line number 988 everywhere you go. This number can be called for free and will accept texts.