Estevan Lee Roman Jr.

trying to find words for a loss that has no language.

My son, Estevan Jr.-my Cheeky-was born on October 30, 1999.

I was just 18 years old, already a mom, still trying to figure out life ... and then he came into this world and gave my life a deeper meaning.

From the very beginning, he was something special. He had the kind of laugh you never forget-loud, deep, full of life ... the kind of laugh that filled a room and made everyone around him feel lighter.

He loved people. Truly loved them. Not just in words, but in how he showed up­ with kindness, with humor, with his whole heart.

When his little sister was born, he was only five ... but from the moment she came home, he loved her fiercely. The same way he loved his older brother. Family wasn't just important to him-it was everything. And to me ...he was more than my son.

When I was sick, he didn't want to leave my side. He would skip out on being a kid just to sit with me, to lay in bed with me, to make sure I wasn't alone.

And as he got older ... something beautiful happened. The roles started to shift. When I had back surgery, he stepped up in a way that most people never do. He became my caregiver. My protector. My strength. He took care of me when I needed it most-without hesitation, without complaint ... just love.

In May of 2023, when we moved to Las Vegas, we found something even deeper in each other.We became best friends. Every day we were out together-learning a new city, having breakfast, grabbing lunch, laughing, talking ... just being together. Those are the moments I will hold onto forever. Because Estevan wasn't just my child. He was my heart outside of my body.

On May 20 ...I witnessed the worst day of my life.I watched people fight to save my son. I watched him fight to stay.And even then ... he didn't leave me. He held on.

For a full year, he stayed.He stayed through pain, through uncertainty, through every thing­ and that ... that is who he was. Strong. Loving. Selfless.

Even in his hardest moments, he was still giving me time. Still loving me in the only way he could. And I want everyone here to understand something: Estevan's life is not defined by that day ... or by what happened after. His life is defined by his love. His laughter.

His loyalty. His heart. If you knew him, you felt it. And if you were lucky enough to be loved by him ... then you know how rare and how real that love was.

I don't know how to live in a world without him. I don't know how to wake up and not go see him, not talk to him, not hear his laugh.

But I do know this-He will always be with me. In every memory.

In every piece of laughter I hear. In every moment I find the strength to keep going ... because he taught me what that strength looks like. Estevan ... my son ... my Cheeky ...

Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. Thank you for loving me the way you did. Thank you for being my best friend.

You are my greatest love. My greatest pride. And you always will be.

I will carry you with me ... every single day ...

until I see you again.