Name: Kraeer Funeral Home and Cremation Center
Address: Pompano Beach, FL

my eulogy to Grampa:

Elmer James Grade. What can you say? Where do you begin or perhaps more aptly, how much time do you have? When I first received word Friday evening of his grave state, I immediately collected a few personal effects from around my apartment, jumped in my car & headed for Boca. Bombing down 95 at 85 miles an hour, I prayed that I would reach him before it was too late. He managed to hang on for another 24 hours, but I’m deeply indebted for having arrived when I did. I was first weak in the knees when I saw him unconscious in his bed, but then my Mother said, “Dad, it’s Patrick. Patrick’s here.” I walked over and grabbed his left hand with mine. Shortly thereafter, in his unconscious state,  he actually raised his arm, our hands clenched. No matter how long I might live, if God grants me an existence anywhere near as long as Grampa’s, I will never forget that moment—it is forever etched in my mind

 There are a few stories about Grampa & I that merit repeating today—though anyone who knew him at all has at least as many. One story that never ceased to make him laugh occurred when I was 11 or 12. We were stopped at a traffic light, I was driving of course, and a neighbor of mine at the time pulled alongside us. She glanced over & did a double-take, her mouth agape, when she saw this kid who could barely see over the steering wheel seemingly chauffeuring around an elderly man. Up until his death, Grampa was convinced that my neighbor had thought I had boosted a Caddy & he would laugh hysterically whenever the story happened to come up.

 Another story whose meaning, at the time, was lost on me hasn’t been forgotten in adulthood. One of the many projects he was assigned by my Mother during his and my Gramma’s annual summer trips to Connecticut was to build a loft in our garage which would create extra storage space. I remember kneeling on the plywood atop the loft, my hair scraping the ceiling, furiously banging nails in the studs. Upon completion, I remember saying, “I’m done Grampa”—beaming with pride (& sweat). He quickly examined my handiwork and informed me that most of the nails I had driven hadn’t entered the studs.  He told me that I had to go back and pull them all up using the claws of the hammer. For a boy of 12, to say this was a laborious task is a tremendous understatement. To say it took a long time is equally understated because I lacked the dexterity and strength that comes with maturity. Ultimately, Grampa wound up pulling the vast majority of those nails himself, as I couldn’t. But his point hasn’t been lost on me as a man of nearly 30: if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

 Grampa is the most ingenious man I’ve ever known. In fact, I can’t imagine ever knowing anyone with a more gifted mind. He was, without question, a mechanical genius—a fact that anyone who knew Grampa as recently as 10 years ago would not dispute. More importantly, he was a loving husband and devoted father. He and my Grandmother traveled the globe at a time when it was unheard of. His childhood stories in Wisconsin, for me, conjure up images of Twain’s iconic characters Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer. In his adulthood, Grampa reminds me of Hemingway, if Hemingway had worked with his hands. My father & I always joked that Grampa should have written a book—or more accurately several volumes of books. But even the most naive of publishers would have difficulty swallowing his life narrative as fact rather than fiction.

 In closing, Grampa lived a tremendously full life. For all his faults, there were a plethora of attributes which more than compensated for his shortcomings. He exhibited infinite faith in me—even when things looked less than promising, even when I had little or no faith in myself. For this display of belief, I am eternally grateful. I will wrap this up with a quote from Peruvian-born author Carlos Castaneda who famously said, “live every moment as if it were your last dance on earth.” Grampa was a disciple of this philosophy whether or not he was even cognizant He cherished every moment he was alive, lived to be just shy of 97 years old and, perhaps most importantly, lived his life without regret. For all these reasons, today is not a sad day.

The following words were taken from one of 2 eulogies given at Elmer's funeral on Jan 13.
  Thank you for coming to help us celebrate the life of Elmer Grade. He loved this church, the priests at St. Paul's, his good friend Anne, and all the other friends he made at this church.

  Our family wanted to say a few words about Elmer today. But I don't know how to say a few words about a man who was larger than life. It's a little like trying to summarize the Grand Canyon. I guess I'd start by saying Elmer was a man who loved life and believed in living it to the fullest. Full speed ahead. He was a risk taker. The word "can't" was not in his vocabulary. He had an enormous intellectual curiosity and a show- stopping sense of humor. As one grandchild said, "Grandpa lived life the way it was meant to be lived!"

  Elmer grew up in Menasha, Wisconsin. He had 3 brothers and 1 sister. Happily his sister,Grace, and brother, Carl, are both here with us this afternoon. 

  Even as a young boy, Elmer was, as they say, "pushing the envelope." His teachers would send notes home from school via his little sister, Grace. And Elmer would routinely intercept those notes before poor Grace ever made it home. In fact, many, many years later, when Elmer went back to Wisconsin, he looked up some of his boyhood teachers. He knocked at the convent door and asked to see his first grade teacher. When the elderly nun shuffled to the door, she did not recognize Elmer. So Elmer said, "Sister, who was the worst kid in your first grade class?" "Elmer Grade," she blurted out.Then, because she was a nun, she quickly bak tracked and said she really hadn't meant that.

  Elmer married Grace, the love of his life. Growing up in our family, you knew that dad loved mom, and mom loved dad. Yea, they loved us kids to be sure, but we always knew their love for each other came first. For as long as I can remember, Saturday night was officially their date night. Theirs was a love story for the ages. 

  Elmer learned his trade as a machinist from his dad in Wisconsin. This ultimately enabled Elmer to open his own tool and die shop in Detroit. The shop was called Akramatic Engineering and Tool Corp. And to my absolute horror, that name was spelled out in big red letters on the sides of our yellow station wagon. Totally mortifying.

 Anyway, it was during these Akramatic years that Elmer invented his carbide grinder. I worked in his office two summers during that time. I can remember driving home with dad at night. H would pound the steering wheel and say, "The engineers keep telling me it can't be done. but I know it can be done." 

  As kids, we could all remember eating at a restaurant where dad would be drawing plans on napkins or tablecloths. He was always trying to figure out some mechanical challenge. I don't know how many tablecloths and napkins dad ultimately burned through, but he finally did it. He invented the AkraKam. That grinder was sold throughout the United States and around the world: Mexico, Japan, Germany. Not bad work for a kid from a small Wisconsin town.

   The truth of the matter is Elmer was a real mechanical genius. He could make anything run. When my brother, Chuck, was about 10 or 11, he raced Elmer's hydroplanes. Chuck was competing with- and routinely beating- grown men in these races. No surprise there because Elmer was souping up those engines. We had trophies all over the house. I remember that we began using them for doorstops. Chuck remembers something more important, however. He said that's when dad taught him about humility. It seems that at one of those races, Chuck and dad were milling around looking over all of the boats. Chuck spotted a boat and said, as only an 11 yr old could say, "Look at that piece of junk." Dad grabbed Chuck pretty firmly and said, "Son, someone took the time to make that boat. It's handmade, and until you can make a boat with your own hands, you had better keep your mouth shut." Lesson learned.

   Years later, Elmer got back into racing boats. He became pretty famous in the hydroplane world. In 1969 he won the D Class Northern Championship Governor's Trophy. In 1978 he took first place in the UI-MOC World Championships; won the Fastest Driver trophy in the Japan Motorboat Association; and won the APBA Nationall Championship for the 500 CC Hydroplane in San Antonio, TX. In 1979 he was named APBA National Champion.
   Elmer was a great father. He loved his children: Molly, Chuck, Ann, and Jane. And trust me, that was not always an easy thing to do. He adored his grandchildren and great children. And was tickled to know that he had two great great grandchildren. Somehow, Elmer could make any one of us feel that he or she was the most important person in the room.

  Each of us carries in our hearts special memories of Elmer. My sister Jane laughs when she remembers the first time she brought her future husband, Luigi, home to meet dad. They were both college students at the time. Luigi had already heard a number of stories about Elmer and was a little nervous about meeting him. They had driven from school and were waiting at home for Elmer to arrive from the shop. As Jane describes it: "Elmer walks in, doesn't say a word to either of them and goes immediately to take a shower. He gets dressed, comes into the living room and says, "Let's go eat." They get into Luigi's old Volkswagen Bug. Luigi starts up the car, and the very first words Elmer says to him are, "Your valves are loose." To which Luigi replied, "Excuse me?" 

   My favorite Elmer story happened about 30 years ago in CT. It was a difficult time in my life. I can remember standing in my kitchen as I called dad. He answered. I was fighting back tears and couldn't even say hello. I just said, "Dad, I need you."

     And do you know what he did? He didn't say, "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?"

     He just said, "Yep. I'll be there." We hung up and 36 hours later, he was standing on my front porch. That was my lesson on what it means to be a parent.

     In closing, I am reminded of what my mother often said about Elmer: "The good Lord broke the mold when Elmer was made." And she was right. I know this because, I see it in your faces. I am certain that each one of you has your own favorite Elmer story. In fact, I bet you have several of them. I hope all of you will come to the reception in the church hall and share your stories with us. His, was a life to celebrate! 

Dear Great Grandpa,
     I missed you so much in the time i couldn't get to see you. Spending time with you in Florida was amazing. I loved fishing in your backyard. I remember when we ate at an Olive Garden once, because both you and I loved that place. When the waiter gave us all those little, tiny mints, i took the wrapper and made a tiny paper airplane. My mom told me not to throw it, but you cheered me on. I aimed to throw it, my mom yelling at me the whole time, then you told me to throw it out past the table to get some air. I think i hit a waiter! Time with you was just so fun. I always wanted nothing more than to come back out to Florida to see you, but money situations kept me from it. I really wish i could have seen you again. I'll miss you a lot. Love, Cora.

Great Grandpa, I wish we could have seen each other more.  Unfortunately every time i was in Florida i was young and my mind was on lizards and Disney world or the beach.  Since I've gotten older, my mind is setting out different priorities and after hearing about all of you stories, how you cared about me and my family, and your whole family for that matter, I wish that i would have sat down and talked with you and really got to know you.  I remember my mom, Mary, always getting off the phone with you and telling me about how interested you were with my guitar, hockey, school, girlfriend etc.  You are a great man and will continue to be great up there, i never got to meet grandma Molly and its really hard but I'm really glad that even as a kid and though not enough, i was able to meet you and know you.  I'll always love you and miss you great Grandpa, Russel.

Dear Grandpa:
You were the best Grandpa a little girl could want.  When I visited you and Grandma, I always felt special.  I remember our trips to Belle Isle, eating ice cream and watching the fountain change colors. Shopping with Grandma, sliding around in the attic and jumping on the beds (and getting my first stitches-oops)-things I couldn't do at home. Christmases were special, but any visit was Christmas.  To you I was Sam.  Why Sam? Because I should have been a boy you would tell me.  You could always make me laugh, even when I didn't want to.  I will always treasure those memories.
Love, 
Your first grandchild
Leslie a.k.a. Sam

I met Elmer a little over 9 years ago. I knew the minute I met him that he was a very special person. At my wedding, he said the kindest things, and over the years he told me some of the best stories. He was a wonderful man, who loved his family, missed his dear wife Grace and was proud of his church and community. I am grateful that I had the chance to know him, and will always remember him.

Dear Grandpa,

Brian and Noah left today for Florida.  I hope you know how much you meant to Brian especially since he lost his Mom, Molly, too soon.  You were Brian's connection to his Mom's past in so many ways.  Although Molly's absence changed his contact at times with the Grade family, he regulary was able to share his memories of his Mom with you and in turn these were shared with his children.   Emma and Noah also came to know about their Grandma Molly through your stories when we visited and through our phone calls.  We listened to your funny tales and we listened to how much you missed her and what she meant to you.  Even though she was gone, you brought her to life for our kids in ways they had never known. Through your unique sense of humor and story-telling they both learned about the Grade family.  When you told Emma, even though her Grandma Molly was not with her,  that you loved her as you did all your Great Grand children, Emma cried. When you joked with Noah and told him he didn't get his sense of humor from Brian but from you, he smiled.  When you hugged our kids, with a love only a Great Grandpa can, I was so thankful.  Please give Molly a big, long, tight hug from her youngest grand children.  We know you will share Noah's jokes and Emma's Field Hockey stories with her.  You will often be in our thoughts because no one can replace what you meant to Brian, Emma and Noah.  Your spontaneous and unconditional smiles and hugs when you saw the kids touched me so much and is something I will always carry with me.  You welcomed me into the family as though we were always family.  Thank you Grandpa.  We will think of you often and continue to make humor and the love of living in the moment with others your legacy.

Claudia

I feel privileged to have met Elmer and experienced his kindness when I stayed with him in 2005. He opened his heart and welcomed me into his home without even meeting me. I remember him being determined to help Aimee and her sore spots and locating some Blue Stuff for her to use. I was so glad I made the trip to Lighthouse Point with Glenn in 2010 to meet with Elmer one last time.  He is a special part of the lives of many people whom we know and love and we are thinking of them at this time. He may not be with us but he will remain in your hearts forever. IN PERFECT PEACE

When one hears the word "grandpa," many things come to mind. When I think of it, I think of an amazing, talented, funny, and honest man. I see him in his white shirt and black pants, white socks and black shoes; I hear his gigantic assortment of keys jangling inside his pocket; I smell the scent of Dunkin' Donuts on his shirt on Sunday morning - early Sunday morning! But most of all, I feel and always will, his love as it hugs me and never lets me go (he gave good hugs). 

My grandpa, Elmer, also taught me many things, like how to properly eat an Oreo and how to climb a coconut tree. But two of the best things he taught me were to a) trust my gut and b) live in the moment. 

So, I am trusting what I believe to be true and living in this moment of sadness but also of great happiness that you, Grandpa, are where you need to be and are sitting with Grandma hearing all of our thoughts. (Which is good, because she really was the only one who could set you straight!) I love you Grandpa, and you will always be with me. Thank you,- your granddaughter Kerry (a.k.a. - rotten kid #2)

Elmer,

You are truly one of a kind.  They broke the mold when God made you.  I suspect some of the nuns you meet may wonder how you got up here, given your history in school.  

We will miss you.  I rejoice that you are with Grace and Molly.  You have made a tangible difference in many of the lives you touched.  I will not wish you "Rest in Peace," Elmer, because there will be no peace with you up there.  There will things and people to fix.  We love you.

I met Elmer in 1996 and very quickly found out what a wonderful and honest man he was. We began a friendship that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I'm so proud that you considered me your friend but it was an HONOR that you were my friend. Rest in Peace, you deserve it. Say hi to Grace for me.
I love you
Greg and Melanie Esser (Pompano Beach, Fl)

I have so many great memories of Elmer accumulated over the nearly 40 years I knew my father-in-law.  The one that stands out at this moment is the way he'd end so many of the stories he shared: I had FUN!  What better way to live a life (and what a wonderful reminder to those fortunate enough to know Elmer).

Love,

"Luigi"

Elmer, Thankful to have met you 7 years ago and its sad to think you won't be there next time I am in Florida.
Jane and family, very sorry for your loss. Just know, he is now in a better place. Rest in Peace Elmer. You will be sadly missed by so many but never forgotten.

Grandpa,

It's impossible to put into words what I am feeling right now.  I am going to miss you terribly.  It's very hard coming to terms with the fact that when I come down to LHP from now on, you won't be there to put a smile on my face.  However, this does not change the fact that you will forever be in my thoughts.  It was such a joy for me to have you attend as many of my softball/basketball games as you did.  I think you really enjoyed it and I was so proud to have you there supporting me.  All of my teammates/friends who have met you over the years have absolutely loved you.  You have been such an inspiration to me.  You were truly a remarkable man:  brilliant, kind-hearted, great sense of humor, etc (the list can continue forever).  When Matt and I came to visit you on Christmas Day, we read you some of the Christmas cards that were sent to the house.  You kept emphasizing the fact that you were surrounded by such wonderful family and friends.  It’s safe to say we can all say the same about you.   I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such a positive influence in my life and for the unconditional love you have given me.  

Love you always and forever, 
Pistol

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad.  I hope your memories of him and the support of your family will bring you comfort in the days ahead.  We always looked forward to your family's visits to Menasha and the latest Cadillac model Elmer would drive up in.  You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.  Love, your cousin Mary

Dear Great Grandpa,  I am really sad right now. I know you are with great Grandma but you are my Dad's grandpa and we couldn't see you very much. I will miss having you in my family but I'm glad we saw you in Florida.  I will miss your storys.  Some day I hope I will be a really good great grandpa like you.  I love you from Noah.

Great Grandpa, I am so glad that we spent Easter with you last year.  I love Grandma's necklaces you gave me.  They will always remind me of our visit.  Our time together is special since I never met grandma Molly.  I will miss your phone calls and your jokes.  Miss you and thank you for being a great Great Grandfather.  Love, Emma

Grandpa,
May you be at peace and surrounded by those you love. Now when I look up in the sky their will be a star shinning bright next to my Mom's.  I'm sending you all my love and please give Mom a hug from me.  I'll always love you.

colleen

Dear Grampa:

You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.Your exploits will live on for many years. Generations of your descendants will learn how you tormented your childhood neighbor in Menasha who was rebuilding his car's engine by adding spare parts from the local scrap yard or how you added gas to his car's tank & then when he bragged about how good his car's mileage was, you siphoned some out. Classic! There is a special place in heaven for you. Love now & forever--pat

OBITUARY

Elmer J. Grade

February 15, 1914 – January 8, 2011

Kraeer Funeral Home and Cremation Center

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