Kathryn (Kay) Pauline Margetts (nee Engelstad) was born July 13th, 1926 in the small Minnesota town of Shelly. The 3rd and last child born to Eddie and Selma Engelstad (nee Egenes), Kay joined elder brother Earl Thomas (July 29, 1914-October 22, 1997) and Elizabeth (Betty) Marion (April 7, 1923- 2014) completing the family. The Engelstad siblings grew up in the tiny town of Shelly, Minnesota. At its zenith during Kay’s childhood, the town boasted a grand total of 300-350 residents, many of them Norwegian immigrants like her own parents. Her father, Eddie, was president of the local Shelly Bank. Her mother, Selma, who preferred to be called Sally, was a homemaker. Kay was a surprise child, born in her parent’s later childbearing years, and was a precocious and entertaining child. As a toddler, when she was told by her mother to keep out of the dirt to keep her good clothes clean, she inventively solved the problem by fastidiously removing said clothes, laying them nearly aside, and resumed playing in the dirt naked. Perhaps this would have been less disconcerting for the neighbors had she not also developed a tendency to wander the small town at will, often with Betty trotting along behind her to corral her home. So frequently did she go walkabout the neighborhood, her parents decided to employ a leash to restrain her in the yard by attaching one end to her and the other to a large tree.
Kay was not only cheeky, but she was also clever, and determined. One of the proudest moments of her childhood was when she used 10 cents that she had earned and saved herself – in the midst of the Great Depression, mind you – to purchase her own brand new baby doll. She kept that doll all her life.
Like most children, Kay attended the small local schoolhouse as a child, but by high school, she had to go further abroad. This meant making the 43 mile trek south and over the border into North Dakota to attend Fargo Central High School from the fall of 1940 through the spring of 1944. Those were, of course, the war years. Although too young to serve herself, Kay’s brother was 12 years her senior. Earl had been registered with the draft in the fall of 1940, and the summer following the attack on Pearl Harbor, he enlisted in the army, eventually rising to the rank of Sgt. He was deployed to Europe, sending drawings, photos, and letters home to young Betty and Kay. Kay stayed busy in high school, and by her senior year in 1944 she was a member of the Harlequin Club, the Pep Club, and the Glee Club.
She was also a member of the Sistocratic League, which “(fostered) a friendly spirit among the girls of Fargo High School” through its committees: Service, Friendly Scholarship, Senior Little Sister, Art, Membership, Publicity and Party. “The foundation of the League is Sisterhood and Democracy, and being dedicated to the principle that the bonds of friendship are far more valuable than the chains of social slavery, the scope of contact includes every girl in Fargo High School.” In between attending club meetings, Kay also found time to serve on the production staff for the theater group and to play basketball.
After high school, Kay decided to become a nurse. She studied at Fairview Hospital in Minneapolis, Minnesota and graduated September 1, 1948. She was awarded her nursing license on January 3rd, 1949. She spent about two years practicing in Minnesota. During that time, she became engaged to a local boy named Warren. In spite of her engagement, however, Kay had the urge to travel. In 1951, she briefly joined her sister, Betty, in Santa Clara, California. Newly married, Betty and husband, Robert Olson, had moved out to California, where he worked as an aerospace engineer. However, Kay elected not to stay in California and struck out on her own when she landed a job at Virginia Mason Hospital in Seattle, Washington.
In Seattle, Kay worked as a surgical nurse. As anyone who has ever worked in healthcare can attest, this is a grueling job, with long hours spent on one’s feet. Safe from the focused eyes of the physicians operating on the table above, Kay would slip her feet out of those practical nursing shoes to massage them on the legs of the operating table while she patiently passed surgical instruments into the waiting hands of her doctors. One day, said doctor was on Lester Harold Margetts, a surgeon from Spokane, Washington who, after finishing medical school at Washington University in St Louis, had moved back to his home state to complete his residency training in general surgery at Virginia Mason. And on that fateful day, as Kay would later discover, she was not in fact massaging her sore feet against the operating table leg, but against the, presumably equally sore, feet of Dr. Margetts. One thing led to another, and after a bit of under-the operating-table footsie and a few dates, Kay found herself bidding so long to small-town Minnesota boy Warren, and engaged to Les Margetts. Les had promised to buy her a China Closet if she would marry him.
The two were married in Kay’s home-town of Shelly, Minnesota on September 13, 1952. They returned to Seattle after their marriage, where Les finished his residency training, and Fellowship in surgery. Kay continued to work as a surgical nurse for another 18 months before bidding temporary farewell to her profession; Kay and Les’ first child, Diane Kathleen, was born at Virginia Mason – fortunately NOT in the surgical ward – on May 10, 1954. Perhaps unsurprisingly to those who knew her, shortly after the birth of her daughter, Kay allowed her husband to persuade her to uproot their little family to the wilds of Anchorage, Alaska, where he, along with a few partners, worked to establish the city’s first surgical clinic.
Once in Alaska, Kay and Les’ family began to expand. Diane was joined by little brother Stuart Edward on February 24, 1956 (death – August 25, 1986). Second daughter Kristin Elizabeth arrived on April 2, 1960. Being fond of second daughters, as she was herself the littlest sister of her family growing up, Kay thought her family was complete with the birth of Kristin. Les, however, thought that children should come in even numbers, as middle children were sure to be difficult and spoiled. Why he held that opinion, having himself been raised with only one much older foster sister, Vivian, is anyone’s guess. Nonetheless, before the issue could be settled, Les quite sneakily used his medical knowledge of menstrual cycles and conception timing to his advantage, and before she knew it, Kay’s fourth pregnancy was presented to her as a bit of fait accompli. Nevertheless, she couldn’t remain miffed at Les for long, as much loved, a very final, baby Eric Lester completed the family on September 6, 1961.
Being a mother of four young children was no small task in Anchorage, Alaska in the late 50’s and 60’s. Having just founded his clinic, Les’ surgical skills were much in demand, and he worked long hours. In spite of being the primary child-rearer, however, Kay still found time to participate in women’s groups and charity organizations. She and Les enjoyed entertaining, and Kay was known to chair a gala or two during her time in Anchorage. Les’ career also brought interesting things Kay’s way, as the locals often traded goods, arts and crafts in lieu of monetary payment for Les’ services. Kay and Les’ resulting collection of paintings, a totem pole, an ivory scrimshaw, a seal skin, and various other bits of an eccentric Alaskan life decorated the walls of Kay’s home for the remainder of her life. Perhaps these interesting objects of art helped make up for Kay’s thwarted travel ambitions. She was proud of her Norwegian heritage, and always wanted to travel to Scandinavia. Unfortunately, on the eve of her trip, the most powerful earthquake in North American recorded history – and the second most powerful ever recorded in modern history – struck Alaska. On March 27, 1964 Kay and her children survived the magnitude 9.2 earthquake, in spite of the car in front of them, and many houses in the neighborhood, falling into sink holes around them.
Unfortunately, tragedy didn’t entirely pass Kay by. On January 31, 1967, Kay awoke to find that Les had passed during the night of a cardiac arrhythmia. He was only 44 years old. At the age of 40, Kay found herself a widow, with four small children between the ages of 4 and 12. In the 1960’s, Anchorage was barely hospitable under the best of circumstances; for a newly widowed mother with young children, it was impossible. In the wake of her husband’s sudden death, Kay retreated southwards, back to Seattle, to be close to Les’ sister Vi her husband, Otis Stander. After getting her feet back under her, Kay moved her family to the Shoreline neighborhood which would remain her home for the next almost 30 years. Kay resumed her nursing career, working in a local primary care clinic for an older physician, Dr Sweet, a position she retained until he retired in 1980. Money was tight, and Kay worked 6 days a week, all while struggling to raise her children.
Having been raised during the Depression and World War II, however, Kay made the most of her circumstances. All her life Kay had an artistic bent, and enjoyed working with her hands. To make ends meet, she often made her children’s clothes by hand. She worked magic with a vintage Singer sowing machine, and her pieces were works of art. As her children grew and flew the nest, Kay spent more of her time in artistic pursuits. She took up dancing – square dancing, round dancing, ballroom dancing – she did it all. She traveled around Washington State, learning and competing. As ever, her sewing talents were put to good use in the making of costumes. She also became an avid gardener and hiker. She joined a mountaineering club, and when she wasn’t traveling to dance, she was traveling to hike.
But the great love of her later years, make no mistake, was the game of Bridge. Kathryn loved a good game of Bridge, and she loved to WIN at Bridge. She played Bridge several times a week for decades and never seemed to tire of her favorite game. She met many of her best friends playing Bridge, and in their younger years, they were her traveling companions as well. She loved her girlfriends dearly.
By the mid-80’s, Kay found her family expanding once again. On June 4, 1984, her daughter Kristin blessed her with her first grandchild, Kalin McGregor Tobin. Kalin was followed by Diane’s eldest daughter Lauren Taylor Roles in June of 1988, then by Kristin’s second son Cody in July of 1990, and finally by Diane’s second daughter Julie Kathleen Roles in November 1991. Kay was to suffer one more great loss, however, as her eldest son Stuart passed suddenly in 1986. While devastated by this loss, Kay took great joy in her expanding family. She loved her grandchildren, and was a fabulous grandmother. Her hands made baby clothes and swaddling blankets and doll dresses and each stitch was filled with love. In spite of the obstacles life threw at her, Kay had a lot of joy and resilience, and she shared this with her family.
As the years passed, in many ways they barely seemed to touch Kay. After Dr Sweet’s retirement in 1980, Kay worked with both daughters, Diane and Kristin, teachers at Mother’s Place, where she ran the infant care program until her retirement in 1986. After her retirement, her days were filled with all the things she never had time for before. She especially developed a love of historical romance novels, filling the spare bedroom floor to ceiling bookshelf with so many of them that the shelves bowed under their weight. Many nights she could be found reading by lamp light until 2 or 3 in the morning, having to finish just ONE, MORE, CHAPTER. One couldn’t be surprised if she didn’t answer the phone until noon. She enjoyed her retirement.
By the mid-90’s, with her children grown and her grandchild born, Kay decided to sell the Shoreline house and move to Lynnwood to be closer to friends. To her great delight, she managed to accumulate six great-grandchildren: grandson Kalin’s two children, Alexis and Bryce, and grandson Cody’s four children, Ezra, Cheyenne, Mason and Weston. Like her grandchildren before them, she showered her great-grandchildren with love, affection, and homemade gifts. She was immensely proud of them, and family gatherings would sometimes find her sitting quietly out of the way, watching her family and smiling to herself. Holidays were always held at her house. At Christmas time, the oven would be kept on seemingly for days on end, and the house would positively overflow with cookies. Seriously, you would find them in VERY odd places. Kay’s home was her sanctuary, and she relished her independence. Aside from a few bumps in the road, Kay maintained her good health and good humor as the decades ticked by, through her 80’s and into her 90’s. Time wore her down very little, although with the death of her brother Earl in 1997, her sister Betty in 2014 and brother-in-law Rob in 2017, she began to feel the weight of being among the last of a great and dwindling generation.
As her family well knew, Kay had OPINIONS, and one of them was that she simply declined to get old. Kay wanted to live her last years independently, and on her own terms. Kay died as she lived, in her own time and on her own terms. When she left us, on September 12, 2020, it felt sudden, but Kay was determined to meet her maker with her facilities intact, and so she did. Kay was a deeply spiritual person. She believed in the hope and the resurrection and in the promise of things to come. She’ll meet us on the other side – probably asking for that romance novel…she never did get to finish.
We will all miss her greatly Beloved Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Mother-in-law and friend.
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