Della Vecchia Funeral Home

211 North Main Street, Southington, CT


Mary Joan Bauder

January 27, 1928July 25, 2020

Mary Joan Bauder, 92, of Southington passed away on July 25, 2020 at home surrounded by her family. She was born in Syracuse, NY on January 27, 1928 to the late Henry and Helen (O’Reilly) De Niro. Joan lived in Southington for over 50 years with her late husband, Robert H. Bauder, who passed away in 2004. She worked for over 25 years in the town of Southington at The Board of Education and the Southington Youth counseling center. Joan spent many hours as a volunteer at the Southington Library and the New Britain Museum of American Art. She is survived by her daughter Mary Jo O’Leary and her husband David of Wenham, MA; her son Scott Bauder and his wife Renie of Hawaii; her son Rob Bauder and his wife Sherri of Bristol; her son Steven Bauder and his wife Louise of New Britain; her grandson Erik, and his wife Joy,of Burlington ; her grandson Ryan and his wife Stephanie of Bristol; her granddaughter Robyn and her husband James of Bristol; grandsons Timothy and Patrick O’Leary of Wenham, MA; her great-grandchildren Caleb, Quinn, Connor, and Caden of Bristol and John and Hannah of Burlington as well as her nephew Robert De Niro, Jr. of NYC; and her nieces Jean De Niro of NYC and Dana De Niro Moulton of NH and many great nephews and nieces. Joan is predeceased by her brothers Robert De Niro, Sr. and Jack De Niro, her niece Linda De Niro, and her very dear longtime friend Rev. Ralph Lord Roy. A Memorial Mass will be held at 1:00 pm on Saturday, August 8, 2020 at St. Dominic Church at 1050 Flanders Rd. in Southington, observing social distancing protocol. The DellaVecchia Funeral Home in Southington has been entrusted with arrangements. Please visit www.dellavecchiafh.com for online condolences and directions.


  • Daughter Mary Jo O’Leary and her husband David
    Son Scott Bauder and his wife Renie of Hawaii
    Son Rob Bauder and his wife Sherri of Bristol
    Son Steven Bauder and his wife Louise of New Britain

    Grandson Erik, and his wife Joy; grandson Ryan and his wife Stephanie; granddaughter Robyn and her husband James; grandsons Timothy and Patrick O’Leary;

    her great-grandchildren Caleb, Quinn, Connor, and Caden,and John and Hannah
    her nephew Robert De Niro, Jr.and her nieces Jean De Niro and Dana De Niro Moulton
    many great nephews and nieces.

Learn more about the Bauder name


  • Memorial Mass

    Saturday, August 8, 2020


Mary Joan Bauder

have a memory or condolence to add?

Deborah Salerno

August 9, 2020

I remember every time I saw Joan over the years we always shared
a laugh and chatted about everything from our families and friends to our jobs. I loved working with her at Move Over Martha's and the Southington Public Library. We talked about fashion (she never went without beautiful nails) we would joke. She was smart, kind, just an all around wonderful person. I will miss her sharp wit and the secrets we shared. Truly.
Rest in Peace Joan. Love ya.
Deb and Mike Salerno

Brian Barrett

August 8, 2020

To the family of Joan,
I had the pleasure of meeting and working for Joan at her home a few years ago. She was so friendly, kind and warm and treated me like an old friend every time I saw her. She was so proud to show me a few pictures of her family and always had fresh cookies to offer when I was at her home. I'm sure you will all miss her great personality, spirit, and kindness. I'm so grateful to have met her! I hope the closeness of family and good friends can make this time a little easier for all of you.
Brian Barrett

Grace Hightower

August 7, 2020

Aunt Joan, I love you and will always remember how you lived life to the fullest. Our last earthly conversation you inspired me so much. Your strength, faith and love I will hold in my heart always.
Your kindness and love for my children Elliot and Helen I will always treasure.

I know you are a light being helping us earthlings find our way.

Thank you.
Grace, Elliot and Helen

Barbara Mackay

August 3, 2020

To all of Joan's family: Joan was a former neighbor and a breakfast "partner". She was intelligent, interesting, and feisty! She will be deeply missed.

Barbara Mackay

marilyn miller

August 1, 2020

I miss our long talks while having my coffee in the morning. You always made me laugh. I miss you dearly. You were so strong to the end. Love you
Marilyn 🌈

Donald Oleary

July 31, 2020

Sally and I always enjoyed your sense humor, compassion, and kindness as well of the love of your family.
You left your footprints and spirit at all the multiple places you volunteered especially at the hospital.
May God provide your family with a loving peace.

Hanna Lubach

July 29, 2020

Dear Mary Joan, you will be forever in my heart. I met you as a patient of your cardiologist dr. St. Pierre were I worked. Your visits were very special, it was your exceptional kindness, and warm heart even on the days when you did not feel well. We lost beautiful soulmate and classy lady. I am not saying good bye, see you some day my favorite patient.

Barbara Glaude

July 29, 2020

Joan was an amazing woman! I had the true pleasure of watching her swim and catch up every chance we had. I pray she is at peace and dancing with her friends and family. She will be missed. I know i will miss her very much. Sending love and prayers to you all.

Jim St Pierre

July 29, 2020

I will miss Mrs Bauder . We have known each other from my time at the post office. Her visits we always a joy. I am truly glad that I saw her a few weeks ago at Flair and we had a nice conversation. My condolences to all.

Jim St.Pierre

Helen Archangelo

July 28, 2020

My dear friend of nearly 30 years, I will miss you so. There were so many good times that we had; trips, lunches, dinners, parties, shopping and more, but also there were those times when we just sat and shared our sadness and pain - my classy confidant. I don't think you ever realized how much you were loved and appreciated by so many people. If eternity is as I hope, you finally realize that. In any case, you are at peace - no worry, no pain (and possibly dancing, singing, and lots of joy.) My condolences to your family and friends who will miss you tremendously. Enjoy your new life, Joan, just as you lived this one, to the fullest!


Learn more about the Bauder name