Dearest Alan

So saddened to hear of your passing.  I have such wonderful memories of our days growing up on Maplewood Ave I will treasure forever.

Until we meet again in paradise. 

xoxo Linda



Keeping this active for friends and family.....please post......Love you Alan

Again...keeping this site active so that those who love and miss you can visit and read the kind words and see pictures.

Keeping the Spirit alive.....Miss you much!

My Dear BFF.....letting you know that I am going to a Medium tonight!!!! It is a group of 80....so will listen to see if you have a message for me! Miss you!!!!!!

My Dearest friend,
Oh my....a year.... this just kills me. I did not sleep last night. 
You are on my mind EVERY day! I was going to see a medium prior to today but just couldn't do it yet. I will try for the end of this week. I would be a mess if i went now.

I miss you and have soooo much guilt because I didn't see you more.
I hope that you will wait for me and Eleanor on the other side.....I just want to give you a huge hug and know that you are OK.
I hate today...I am numb. It doesn't go away. i know, it is greed, I admit it. But yes, I am happy that you are free and able to be yourself somewhere in your afterlife.
If only you could let us know......
Love,
AFA...Elaine

Hi Al, (mfn)
Well..how time has flown in one way and yet not in another.  I thought by now I could look at your picture and not cry. Boy was I mistaken. 

Anyway, here I am and I need a favor from you....The one I spoke to you about this morning.  Please help me out like you seem to do every time I call upon you. Thought maybe if I wrote to you today it would give it that extra little punch. 

I guess I'll never stop missing you and crying at times.  I've resigned myself to that fact.  But of course there are the days that I find myself smiling at the moments of thinking of you.

I love and miss you always,
(yfa) Auntie Eleanor
P.S. Of course you know everyone in my family is fine and everything is going well.  We speak of you often as you know. Dr.Siporin and I also speak of you on many mornings while having our bagels and coffee/tea.  He remembers the first time he met you.  In fact he met you before he met me.  What a small world!

Alan
Still thinking of you very often. It is almost a year. I wonder if you are safe. Happy. In a new life. I wish there was a way to know if you are or if you know how much we all miss you. 
Love
Your BFA
Elaine

Alan,(mfn)
I can only wish I were writing out a birthday card today April 10, 2012 instead of writing to you like this.  I know I would receive that wonderful phone call from you tomorrow with you laughing about the "stupid" card you received.  Well Al it is what it is I guess.  It's just so amazing that the pain just doesn't get better.  I can still hear your voice, your laugh and see your beautiful face.

This has been the longest day to get through today.  I am feeling so "down".  I hope you are feeling "fantastic"!  We will laugh together in the not so distant future I just know we will.  That is what keeps me going.

I love and miss you so much!

Love,
yfa Auntie Eleanor

Hello my Dearest of All...
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday....where ever you may be in your new life. I am missing you the most today and wish I could know you are OK. 
Love to you! Miss you!
Your BFA.
Elaine

Hello My Dearest Drake Cake! I miss you today.....The sun is out and it has been a very mild Winter. I hope that Spring will be here soon then Summer of course. I still plan on a visit...just not sure if I should stay nearby or be in the Valley and drive down. I won't make the same mistake twice...live and learn...I will visit those still in the area while I am able. Also planning on a reading soon.....would love to hear what I am told. 
I know that you are safe and happy...and I am glad for that but of course human nature kicks in with greed....I am greedy in wishing you were still here. 
Miss you! 
You BFA, Elaine

Hello my friend......God I miis you! But you are in my heart every day and always will be. I can still hear your voice, see your walk, and hear your laugh. It is early and I am doing the usual work around the house and it is so queit and you pop into my head and i just flip from being overwhelmed to feeling warm knowing that we had good times and that you must be in a good place now and living another life in the way you would want to. 
Still planning on comming to visit....have to close the book so to speak. Talk to you soon.
Love AFA, Elaine

Mr dear brother,
I wrote you on Christmas when you and so many memories were on my mind thru tears. But it's not on your page. Well I know that you heard me. I love you.   Bev

Hello my dear friend.....
Well, I think I will finally get some rest...out of the office until Jan3rd!
I was thinking of you first thing this morning. Go figure, the best way to start the day. 
But I am still beating myself up for not seeing you again before your moving on. I can only wonder what would have been different and why everything went in this direction.
I miis you and think of you every day....
Love your BFA
Elaine

The Holidays are in full force....and in less than a week Christmas will be here. We had a function at work yesterday and I just could not keep my mind focused and it was hard to smile......but I did my best....as you and I would say...."It is just a facade"
I sent a card to your Mom's house.....
well, I am still planning to visit you for your Birthday. I really do need closure and I know you will know that I am there. 

for now....
Love, your BFA, Elaine

Hi Alan (MFN)

Whas up?  I just got rid of my california king size mattress! Sob sob..but it was old and had to go.  Now the queen size I took from my spare room looks like a postage stamp.

My dogs look like they're being punished when we go to bed haha. But this mattress is so comfy it's only a couple of yrs old and no one sleeps over any more since Pat & Abby moved to Hawaii so I really don't need a bed in that room.

Other than that nothing new.  I can't believe it's Christmas in about 2 wks. But even that just seems like another day.  Getting old kinda sucks...haha

I do hope we get snow this year tho...I do like that!  If the temp. stays the same and it rains next wk like they say, maybe we'll get snow.

I wish you would have been able to go to Hawaii with me.  My plan was to take you next year.  Unfortunately I didn't even get the chance to tell you that.  All Lori and Pat talked about while we were there was you.  And I'm serious...it was remember when we did this and we did that with Alan.  I'ld be walking a ways behind them at night on the beach and could hear them talking ( I just loved it) So that was the plan that I would come home and talk with you to arrange to take you the next time. You would have loved it! And so would we.  I guess everything happens for a reason. But we humans always want that "one more time".  

Well, Al I'll talk to you again soon.

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hi Al, (MFN)

Caruso!!! I remembered!  Whew it was driving me crazy! Spelling may be wrong but who cares.

Still feeling crappy...went from throat to intestinal. So I really mean crappy lol. Also, it's freezing cold here right now.

You know I was thinking today about the selfish part of me wanting you here but you know what.  The world had become quite a crummy place.  No more "good days"  I think we were lucky to have the times that we did. You're not really missing anything here. So as weird as this may seem, I think you're luckier than the rest of us that have to still be in this world the way things are going nowadays.  Do you know what I mean?

It's become just a hohum existence. The world is going crazy and one of these days I think we're going to just blow up the entire planet.  The middle east is insane.

So, in the mean time we just go about our lives working and existing.  No real fun times any more and that's pretty sad.  I know I sound like doomsday but it's the truth.  Anyway it's the way I see things right now.

So I hope you're really happy and it won't be all that long before we're all together again and maybe we can have "great times again" That's what keeps me going these days.

We never really had to go places or do anything special. We just had good times talking and talking about everything and anything.  Just being together was more than I can put into words.  For that I miss you so.

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hi Al (MFN)

Well, I finally opened my computer again! I've been sick for a few days but decided to force myself to start acting human again!

I was lying in bed today and thinking about the days when we would "get back at Mikey"  When he would do something mean to you and we would make a plan on how to get him back.haha  I can't remember his last name.  It's driving me crazy!  We would make water balloons and hide in wait for him and "blam" he would get it! Maplewood Ave. those were some fun days to say the least!

Remember the "anemic dynamites" ahaa we laughed about those for years! Yuck!

I missed an important phone call today when I ran out to get some groceries. I was so mad...hopefully I can make contact tomorrow.

Gosh Al, this just isn't getting any easier.  I miss you so much!  There just isn't any way to escape.  Can't even turn the radio on without hearing a song that reminds me of you.  It just seems like you're everywhere. Even trying to watch t.v. doesn't work because there you are again! for one reason or another.  I guess 57 years of memories are just about impossible not to have you in just about every area.

Well, now that my face is a mess again I guess i'll say good night for now.

I love and miss you always.
(YFA)
Auntie Eleanor
I hope you hear me every morning when i say hi to you!

Hi Al, (MFN)
I just read Elaine's message and was happy to see I wasn't the only one that deleted an entire message. (over and over again and it usually happened on my of my extra long messages and would happen on the very last 2 or 3 lines of what I was writing.  I think I wrote one of them about 3-4 times. 

Sorry it happend to Elaine tho. Elaine I'm up very late at night so please contact me. I'm home Wed. & weekends.

Al, do you remember when "hair frosting" was the "in thing" and I decided i wanted you to do it to my hair?  You said you hadn't done it before and I told you I knew you could do anything. So...we went and got the little kit and proceeded with the task.

I tucked all my (long hair) up into that little plastic cap with all the little holes in it. That was the first mistake! Like an idiot I pulled all my curly long hair up into a giant pile under that cap! Duh! I probably looked like "Medussa" you know who I mean I can't think of the correct spelling right now.

Anyway you started to try to pull strings of hair thru the little holes in the cap with that thing (like a knitting needle).  OMG! the pain was incredible.

I remember at one point saying "Alan, I'm gonna punch you" and you say "No you're not Auntie" (knowing I was just talking.

Finally after what seemed hours of starting and stopping because i couldn't stand the pain, I told you we would just do it with how much you have pulled out and you said "Auntie I've only pulled out three holes"  I couldn't believe it! I said I didn't care just do it and you said"Auntie if I do it like this you're going to look like Pepe Le Pew"  So, we ultimately decided to take the cap off and you would just do it without the cap.

Amazingly, It turned out "great".  Of course I never tried it again.lol

We laughed so hard once more!

I can't think of anything you tried to do that you couldn't do. One of a kind!

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

OMG....I know I am losing it...I just sent a whole message to you and Eleanor and was distracted and think I deleted it...I hope not....I will wait to see if it went thru and if not will start all over again. 
And that is because YOU are worth it lol.

love and miss you
Elaine

Hi Alan (MFN)

Just me again! Well, Thanksgiving turned out great!

You ready for this? I spent it in Acton. There's a horse arena on Smith St and just behind it on top of the hill on 2nd. St. is the Community Center. (Talk about keeping it in the family. haha) Acton...Smith...horses...

When I saw the horse arena I thought back to the times we used to ride. We had so much fun! Do you remember when that one horse went totally crazy, they said something was wrong with him and had to put him down (physically-a brain problem) that was so sad!  Well I don't know why I had to remember that sad part of it just now. Geez...
But, I guess it wouldn't be life if we didn't have the sad as well as the good times. Which I guess we've had plenty of both huh?

I so hope that where you are now, there is no such thing as "bad times" and I have a feeling there aren't.

Do you remember the Christmas I got you the "Chipmunk record and the little mirrored think that went on the spindle of the little red and white (suitcase looking) record player? 
I's a wonder that record didn't catch on fire for the amount of times it got played, over and over and over again.
We had that song "down!"  ALVIN!!!!
You just loved it! Of course it made my day!

Well, I guess I better get busy on my housework! Yuck!  Not like someone's going to knock on my door and say "lady can I clean your house for you?" haha Darn!

Talk to you soon.

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hi Alan (MFN)

Well, today has been somewhat better for me than the weekend (which actually started Thursday and went into Sunday afternoon)
My brain felt like a pin ball machine with thoughts and memories bouncing all around.  I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  It's not the holidays as some people have been trying to tell me. After a lot of thought and analyzing things my way I have come up with: I think I started coming out of "shock" and started reliving this nightmare all over again from day one!  It seems like it's been a long time I've been missing you and having this terrible pain in my heart but, when I stopped and thought about it, its only been a month. No wonder I'm not feeling a lot better yet. I shouldn't!

Alan you are so unique and always have been.  If there were recordings of 1000 men talking and laughing I would be able to pick you out without a doubt!

Your deep, but gentle voice and that laugh!  That laugh could only belong to one person. I have your last message from my home phone (that you left around 9/13/11 while I was in Hawaii with Lori visiting Pat and Abby and Zill) I transferred it to my recorder on my cell phone but just can't bring myself to play it back again just yet. I will cherish that forever. How lucky and I to have your voice telling me you "love me"?

Al, this message is for Elaine.
Elaine I've tried to contact you thru this guest book a couple of times and just figured you weren't in the right mood or (whatever) to contact me.  But I don't think it's working properly.  I don't know if anyone else has tried it but Wednesday (or Tomorrow if I get a chance at work) I'm going to call the mortuary and ask them what's wrong with it.  I was happy to see your note but I don't have your phone or email.
My email is ee.eddington3@gmail.com
ph 1 661 266 7790 after 7:30 P.M. except Wed.and wkends. please contact me.
See how magical you are Alan...leave it to you to get people to hook up.

Well, Al I don't think I'm "Sybil" anymore haha.  Anyway I hope not.

I love you as always and still miss you something fierce!

Love, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hi Alan, (MFN)

Well, here we are, you're 5 and I'm 17 and we're in my first apt. You're going to sleep over tonight and we have spent the day arranging the furniture.  Well, you arranged it haha (so cute) and it looks pretty darn good.

We have decided to buy pomegrantes and eat them in bed (in the dark) while watching tv tonight. Of course we're prepared the towels and plastic under the towels so we don't stain the bedding.  Yummy...those were good!

It's morning now, and you get up and run across the small room the the tv/radio/record player that has become my first financed purchase. (Your Mom had to cosign for me) Of course you start playing the first record of the day! You love music so much already!

Now, you turn around, look at me with a big smile that quickly turns into big eyes and a "Mr. Bill"  "O" I yell what is it Alan? Is it a spider and you don't answer me. I start yelling "kill it, kill it" which of course you won't. You will simply carry it outside and let it go.

You stand frozen looking past the left of my head and not into my eyes so I jump out of bed and flail my hands around my head trying to knock the spider out when I realize you are still staring in the same direction saying "Auntie".  So, I turn around and OMG!  The wall looks like someone took a spray bottle of red ink and sprayed the wall with a bunch of dots!

We look at each other realizing it was the pomegrantes we had last nite and start to laugh.  We couldn't stop laughing for a very long time.

Of course a couple of hours later after scrubbing with everything we knew to use the laughter subsided quite a bit.

Well...I believe that was your first lesson in how to paint the inside of a house!  We did a great job on the wall but it took us a gazillion coats of paint to cover up that red color!

Once we finished...we went back to laughing about it and NEVER ate a pomegrante in the house again!

Later in life when we'ld be in a market and see one we would remember that day.

Another cherished memory!

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

My Dearest BFA,
Well....I put up the 9ft tree today.....Yes I made it through without  freaking out. I am strange in that way. You know me, I hold it in and become very quiet.
I thought of you with every ornament I placed.....thinking that i will still search for that special card to send to you.....I will address it to you in Heaven, and i hope you get it. I will still send to your Mom....I havent spoken to her since she called me.....her Heart was so broken. I will wait a bit longer and will give her a call. Talk to you soon....Miss you!
Love  your BFA
Elaine...

El....if you can, give me a call....email?

Hi Alan, (MFN)

Well, I've been in bed all day...not feeling up to par! Yesterday was one of my worst days yet!

I guess I really put myself in a very bad place.  I couldn't get away from your 5-10 yr old days.  Brother it was horrible.  The memories were so great yet so very very painful.  And here I am now doing the very same thing...I should be getting dehydrated right about now!

I see your little face at 5 yrs. old with your big eyes in your little round head and it just breaks my heart over and over.

I feel like I'm having a total melt down and I don't know what to do. I can't control it and I just can't stand that I can't. I don't know if it's because of the holidays or just it is what it is.  But I don't know or understand why this is happening like this.  I can usually have some control and be able to "fake it" but right now I can't do that.  Why???

Poor Lori had to talk to me yesterday for about and hour to get me to stop crying while I was at work! It was a nightmare! I just don't seem to have the strength. Even thinking about happy funny times isn't temporarily helping.  The 5 yr old thing is really getting to me....I want to just be able to hold you in my arms and never let go.

Well...I'm going to sign off now and maybe at a later time I can come back when i can see what I'm typing.

I love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hi Alan (MFN:))
Whoa...that was weird....That happy face above was not my doing! It automatically happened..Hmmmmmmm? Are you trying to tell me something?

Now I forgot what I was going to say to you...

Well, I'll just have to say whatever pops into my head right now. Oh, I know what. Today one of my favorite patients asked me if I was going to be cooking this year for Thanksgiving and I told her no, I was going to be a volunteer to serve the needy and she proceeded to tell me how "good" I was. Ha and I thought she knew me! We argued back and forth me saying no, I'm not and her saying yes you are. So I explained to her that I was doing it in your honor and she said "Wow! he must have been "some guy" I told her they just didn't come any better.  Gosh the pain just doesn't seem to get any better. Everyday I think this will be the day of "no tears" and it just never seems to happen.

And now look what you've done! My reputation is ruined! I can't have people going around saying I'm "good"
Fortunately she is the only patient that I confided in about Thanksgiving and I sure won't make the mistake of telling anyone else. 

So now I have to lie to all the rest of my patients and tell them either I'm cooking or going to Lori & John's house. Geez.

Well Al, needless to say you'll be in my thoughts every minute of Thanksgiving day. Not that you're not in them everyday as it is now. It'll just be a more special day for me. And don't pull any funny business on me that day either!

I'm still freaking out about the happy face!

Guess I better get some dinner now (don't want to risk losing an ounce!)

Love you, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor
p.s. Can you believe P.J. is 22 today?

Hello my Dear Friend,
Well I guess that I am now into phase 2 of the process....numb, wondering if this is a cruel joke...but nah, and back to the reality of today. I will revert to thinking of the good and fun stuff! Gosh..remember whn we went to see Led Zepplin??? and how we were stuck trying to get out of the lot and had Zepplin blasting in the car and we were singing along....like a movie! LOL I hope that that you are getting me meet up with some of the souls you admired along the way....I will always remember you telling me about Bette Davis living by the lot where you parked and went to leaving the bank and how Bette was always in her window peeking out, and you always looked up and said "Goodnight Bette" even if she wasn't there. You are so kind....
And how you were totally aggrivated by one very famous female singer who was very very wealthy, and she would call the bank EVERY day asking what went in and was went out!!! So funny!
And of course I still thank you for sending the AIDs Education materials years ago for Gary's book report....
Ya know Alan, you Rock! And you are the BEST guy that I ever knew. 
Heaven is so very lucky to have you now....I am jealous, that is why I am so sad...sad for my loss but should be happy for your gain. I know that you must miss all of us also, but need to move on into a new life....
Try not to be so sarcastic with your new friends! I hope that you are the one at the gate to greet me at my time.
I miss you and will always love you!

AFA your BFF forever
Elaine

Hi Alan,
I still can't believe that you have left us.  You will never know how many friends and relatives think of you every day and repeat the same thing. 
I will always remember when we had family get- togethers at someones home or in the Park whenever Memere was visiting from Rhode Island. Patrick would always tell me that I was the "coolest" Uncle, and you would always agree. Well, guess what, I always thought that you and Patrick were the "coolest" nephwe's.  Of course, I couldn't say that with all the other nephwes around, let't keep that our secret...

Hi Alan, MFN
Well, I'm going to complain again! Today started out pretty crummy.

There's a sweet college kid that sits across from me on the commuter bus and I think I finally sent him over the edge this morning.  We got along really well...I sort of taught him the ridiculous rules and regulations of riding the bus Geez... So, he seemed to like me, that is until this am.  I think now, not so much!

It was one of those mornings of smiles, tears, smiles, tears and so on. I think he's totally afraid of me now. I  could see him out of the corner of my eye and he eventually turned in his seat with his back to the window totally facing me (a look of total fear, thinking this crazy ol woman is going totally berserk!), pretending to be looking at his computer which I figure he had plans to use as a weapon against me when I went berserk...I figured you would love this...I pictured you sitting by my side making some sarcastic remark!lol  Anyway he ended up totally safe and no going berserk on my part..althoughhe seemed extremely happy when he exited the bus with a big smile on his face.

So...as if that wasn't enough I made is successfully to my office, sat down and yep..water works again! Unfortunately, Dr. S now became my next victim! He made the mistake of coming into my office and sitting down on the chair behind me, so he didn't see my messy face. Therefore whenI had to turn to face him, we both ended up in tears! Poor guy..usually he starts into my office and can see me and makes a u-turn right on out of the room when it's one of those wet face times. ( He's made more u-turns than I can count..and that's "not in a car")

Eventually we pulled ourselves together and went about our morning ritual of tea and coffee and bagels.
Whew!.. you just have to start helping me out a little more in this area. What are you thinking?? I know you are probably very busy helping lots of people right now but come on..I'm a VIP right?

I can only laugh when Pat and Lori and I talk about the night (late late night) when you went out (a grown man) onto your front lawn in your bare feet, jeans and tank top looking for your dog.

Cupping your hands on each corner of your mouth yelling out "Moooooo, Mooooo, Mooooo, Mooooo" Especially since none of your neighbors knew his name was Moo. We just roll on the floor every time we think of that little episode. To tell you the truth I can't even remember what his name really was. Mumu? Mooie? Mui? To me he'll always just be you calling out "Mooooo"...

Well, thanks to you once again, my day is beter and I can smile for a little while.

"Rachmoninoff!!!!!" lol

I love you, and MISS you so much!
YFA
Auntie Eleanor

Well my Dearest Friend.....Happy Sunday! The sun was out for a bit, but now it is gone and it is getting cold. And yes, reality sets in again. I did sleep, but only by reading myself to sleep. I still cannot speak much...I cannot seem to hold it together long enough. Shame on me for being a procrastinator. I always held off when i should have just gone to see you! But ya know...I will come, I will go to your much loved apartment, I will drop in on your Mom and your MFA and Bev.........i will resort to feeling you there and try to start the damn healing process.
When I slide down, I think of the funny things we used to do and the family fun..."Rachmoninoff" I hope everyone remembers that! I have been speaking with Tom Raheb.....funny, for the last two years he has been working in Lancaster! I remember your grad like it was yesterday Was that the house in Woodland Hills that we TP'D? LOL
I am sharing a couple of pictures...one with Jim fixing the flat tire we got on the way to the Tri wedding that turned into a double...and the one of us at Universal. God....I remember how we spent 2 days Cemetary hopping....which I still do. Only this time I will be alone....to visit with you.

I miss you and think of you every day....
you BFA ...Elaine

Hi Alan, (MFN)

Just got home from Lori's house. She made cabbage soup. Of course that reminded us of you. What doesn't? So Lori, Ronaele and I all had a bowl of cabbage soup in front of us and we all started crying. When is this excruciating pain ever going to end?

I was so happy to read the beautifu words Elaine wrote.  Not to mention seeing that picture of the two of you. Gosh you guys were so young and yet it seems like just yesterday when you were chasing each other around that big tree in the front yard on Van Owen St.  All the fun and laughter.

The things she wrote were so beautiful and "spot on" It was definitely YOU!

I remember all those years ago when the two of you first hooked up!  I remember thinking I wish it could stay that way forever.  Well, it's obvious that the two of you remained best friends all this time.

There is no doubt that she is in a lot of pain like so many of us that knew you.  I don't know anyone else that put so much laughter and love into so many people as you did.

I love and miss you so much!  i hope we can hear from more people with stories about you.  It's painful but it's also wonderful to see someone elses words and beautiful stories.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Love, (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

Hello my Dearest BFA....
I was up so late last night...couldn't sleep....mind would not keep still. I have so many questions that will probably never be answered.
Then I started thinking back to Vanowen Street and the fun times! OMG we had so much fun. And the hours on end of chatting about everything and anything!Remember bowling? And cards at YFA? I have never been able to duplicate that fun. And now really never will.
I am adding this picture.....we had so much fun....and I thank God for those times with you.
Remember...I will still always be here for you!

Love BFA Elaine xoxoxo

My Dearest Friend...
You gave me Laughter, Taught me the art of "People Watching", Showed me how to be Crass in a classy way, Got me addicted to everyting Hollywood and Celebrity,you gave me a personality and a sense of humor.
I will always keep you in my Heart, Soul, Mind, and in every step I take in this life.
you are not gone...you will always be here my Drake cake. 
Dance on...laugh on.....
You are just a thought away.

Love....AFA...elaine xoxoxo

November 10, 2011
My heart is torn to pieces.....how does one type through tears....
43 years ago I met my best friend....the love of my life. I was so trying to come to visit...especially after your telling me about your new apartment and school. But....it is not to be...today I learnt that I lost you .....I am so sad...so angry.....we will never get to finish our last Letter Game that we were working on. 
With you...I went to my first LA concert, drive down Sunset and Vine, game of UNO, first taco! The best times of my life was with you my dear friend...it is strange how I just  three weeks ago happened upon a picture of you and Tom at grad and held it dearly, thinking of taking out the DP plaque that you made for me,then making contact with a co-worker in Burbank and every time I heard his voice, I thought it was you. It had to be you talking to me...trying to tell me.....damn. the grief is overwhelming. Why you, why now? My head is pounding, going through the process of asking why? Why didnt God let me see you once more? Talk to you once more?

For those reading this.....Please know that Alan was one of the kindest, loving, person known to us.He would not question anyone who would ask something of him. 
I can hear his laugh, hear his voice, and just think of the great memories that were made with him. I am sad that I was not able to be there to bid you farewell....i did not know. I am sure you get it Alan.
I will forever treasure that talks we had over the years, the laughs, and will treasure the cards and letters that always ended with Love you Always and Forever Alan BFF xoxoxo. I will hold onto it all 'til i see you again......

You BFF, Love Forever, Elaine x0x0x0

Good morning Alan (MFN)
 How's your day going?  Mine isn't so great this morning. So I decided I better talk to you to help keep my sanity.

Do you remember the night we cut down that big tree in the yard with the vacant house?  I'm sure you do!

It started out with "this woman" telling us how she hated all the leaves that dropped into her pool from that ugly tree. And why did they need that ugly tree when they had so many pretty trees? She wished they would cut it down. I asked her if she didn't like the shade from it and she said she didn't need the shade. She would just be happy if they chopped it down. (of course not by us, little did she know how our brains worked)  Well..you and I just looked at each other and smiled.Ahaaaaaa Then the fun began. It was on! You and I went to the hardware store and got saws, rope and whatever else we thought we would need.

Late that night ( I think it was close to midnight) our plan went into action with "this woman" saying what are you going to do? Naturally we just smiled at her and told her we were going to take care of her problem.  Her job was to watch the neighbor's house (two story) and make sure they didn't see us and to warn us if she saw or heard anything. She repeatedly said "Oh my God, we're going to get in trouble" We told her it would be all ok. Not to worry.

So laughing, we proceeded to climb over the wall and get busy.  Climbing the tree, attaching ropes, making our plans who was going to hold which rope, and which direction to run towards when the time came. We shared with the task of sawing this huge tree, which seemed to take forever partly because of our laughing breaks. We swore to each other that at the time we had to run we wouldn't look back to see if the other of us were safe because that could jeopardize our lives. It would be every man/woman for themselves. "Promise?, Promise."

At one point naturally the lights went on in the neighbor's upstairs window.At this same moment out went our "little flashlights" "This woman" (our innocent accomplice) freaked out to say the least. We calmed her down and told her to just sit on the ground and we sat on the other side of the wall, which again seemed an eternity. After a time she checked and replied that the lights had gone out and she didn't see anyone or anything so we continued with our little plan which was difficult at times because now we all had the giggles.

Well..to try to shorten this story (true story) suddenly came a little cracking sound at which time, as our plan had accounted for, we stopped the sawing, took our positions on the ropes, started pulling and heard a LOUD KRRAAACK!!!! oh,oh. We heard each other in a loud whisper say "Oh blank" started our planned run andthen heard "Whooosh, thud!" The deed was done! We ran like heck to get over the wall all the while tossing the saws over and laughing when "this woman" said again "Oh my God, the neighbor's lights are on and the dogs are barking"  Of course we pretty much had that one figured out on our own.  We all huddled against the wall in the bushes until the lights went out and crept into "this woman's" darkened house and just howled!  I think a couple of us had "pee pee" pants that night from laughing so hard.  We know one of them wasn't you Al because that seems to be a woman thing!

We waited til we thought it was safe, then you and I went back over the wall (amazed at the sight of this giant tree that looked even bigger filling the entire back yard) and cleared any evidence of anyone going over the wall and brazenly (maybe I should now change that word to stupidly) walked out the front gate of the yard and walked back to "this woman's" house. We now cleaned up everything on our side of the wall.

Now..along comes the next morning...we all go out and sit by the pool ( of course after looking over at our handy work and were amazed once more how brilliant (maybe a change in word here again) we were.) Suddenly we hear voices coming from that backyard. A female realtor say "Oh my God, what happened to that tree?" (It seems God was called upon a lot in those few hours I guess because HIS great sense of humor) We couldn't contain our laughter. It was hilarious! I had to "this woman" earlier that they would probably think it was the people that had previously moved out during the night.  We just kept talking and laughing pretending we didn't even know anyone was on the other side of the wall.

See the smile on "this woman's" face for priceless! Her face lit up like a christmas tree.It was worth the entire "caper" just to see her smile, dimples in full splendor! She looked like a little girl again. Just thinking of this right now is makingme laugh so hard I can hardly type.

Well needless to say she now had sunlight and no leaves in her pool! Hooray!

But... I just thought of something...."This woman" shortly thereafter started a ritual of having family members plant a tree in her yard when they first visited her.  I don't know if she had friends do it also or if it was just family members. But she has a big family! So now I'm wondering....hmmmmm Did she feel some kind of guilt for our dastardly deed or was it coincidence????? Makes a person wonder.  I haven't been to her house in many years but I can only imagine it looks like a forest by now and if one drives by they just might catch a glimpse of "Smokey the Bear" camped out there.

I WOULDN'T ACCEPT A MILLION DOLLARS IN TRADE FOR THIS MEMORY.

 I hope she too remembers this night and can have that smile back on her face, if only for a few minutes.

I love you Alan  (YFA)
Auntie Eleanor

11/4/11
Hi Alan (MFN)

Well I hope your day was better than mine.  It's raining today and I don't know why but this morning just started out badly.I usually like the rain, so I don't know why I feel so blue. I guess I just started out thinking of you and didn't think about all the funny episodes Lori & Pat have been telling me about that make me laugh so hard. I can't believe they kept all those childhood secrets from me all these years! You guys were something else! Hilarious if nothing else. They have been trying so hard to keep my spirits up, unfortunately it doesn't work 100% of the time.

Speaking of rain..do you remember "back in the day" we ran around barefoot all the time? Rain or shine, jump in the car, go to the store, or just anywhere barefoot. When it rained the bottoms of our pant legs would be soaked. Drove Memere "crazy" when we were older. she was always on us for that. Sorry Mom!  Of course other people went around barefoot too..we weren't the only ones.  But not so much any more...except you and I still kept it going at least in the house and yard. But not to the store (it's too icky now)

I can still see you walking around barefoot with your pants dragging under your heels.haha We sure had good times! We did the silliest of things and just laughed for no reason sometimes.

Thinking of the old days just reminded me of when you and Bev and Lori and Pat were really young and each your turn decided it would be a good idea to simply "take" what you wanted from the store (like a candy bar or bubble gum) at that time Aunts and Uncles were able to treat each other's kids as they would their own.

So...thinking I was going to be the "great" Mom and the "fantastic" Auntie I made each of you at some point take that "walk of shame" back to the store to apologize for what you had taken. (I'm sure your Mom did the same with Lori and Pat..in fact I know she did!) In my mind I could only think "this is a lesson he or she will never forget!" That started out with "WHAT did you do?"

Well, time marched on and that saying turned into "You did WHAT? Wow that was so cool I didn't even see you do it" Of course you being the elder of the three kids you now became the teacher.And such a great teacher you were, as always. I had my own "little band of thieves", candy and gum for all! WHAT WAS I THINKING? RIGHT? Thankfully time marched on and in a short period of time we all outgrew that era. 

I never did know what happened to that "lesson everyone would never forget" It's a wonder we all didn't end up in the "Big House"  Well, God really has a sense of humor (HE must have walked thru Woonsocket, R.I. at one point in time) I didn't have to think sensibly at the time...HE was thinking for me and knew that the day would come that we would be laughing about our big "capers" HE was letting us create "precious memories" and I can only Thank HIM for that!

Well, Al I'm feeling better thanks for listening to me as always. Talk to you again soon.

Love YFA
Auntie Eleanor

GOOD MORNING ALAN   IT IS MONDAY NOV.7TH 2011 MY NUMB SHOCKED BRAIN IS TRYING TO ACCEPT THE FACT YOU ARE NO LONGER HERE WITH US BUT MY HEART JUST KEEPS CRYING AND PAIN DOES NOT STOP!    WHAT HAPPENED?   WILL WE EVER KNOW? IHOPE AND PRAY THERE WAS NO SUFFERING.   GOD MUST HAVE NEEDED AN EXTRA SPECIAL PERSON IN ETERNITY WITH HIM.WE WILL SEE YOU AGAIN     SOON I SUSPECT    LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER !!       MOM  OOS N XXS.

Good morning "my favorite nephew". This is helping me cope by being able to talk to you.  I miss you so much!
Just in case you were busy doing something else on Wednesday and didn't see what a beautiful ceremony was held in your honor I want to let you know how wonderful it was even though it was so very painful at the same time. I have a feeling that you know all about it though.
You also know that Pat had his own ceremony at the exact same time in Hawaii.  He left work early and at 11:30 Hawaii time drove to a bluff overlooking the beautiful pacific ocean.  He cried and laughed and talked to you and played a song he recorded on his ipod (or whatever it is that everyone has these days to record music} A song that the two of you once had a really great time listening to and laughing so hard for whatever your reasons were.  He also let you know how upset he was that you would leave us.  I'm sure you were there as well and more than likely was laughing at him for being so upset with you.
He's probably going to be embarrassed that I'm telling this story but I'm very proud to know how loving and sensitive he is, not unlike you. You were always he "Big Bro" and I can see in so many ways how he learned a lot of your behavior and in turn has also passed that on to P.J.  Alan it's amazing how much P.J. is like you in so many ways.  So you will go on and on for generations to come I suspect.
But I want other people to know (if anyone else is going to this site) about it because it not only makes me proud of the sensitivity, kindness and love Pat has but is says something about you.  I know if anyone reads this they're ging to think I'm just writing about Pat...but not so, and this is why:

Family came out her from 3000 miles away for a service for you and family held a service for you 3000 miles away in the opposite direction. All while family and friends were here celebrating you.  What does that tell you?

It's ALL ABOUT YOU!!! Alan sadly, I don't think you ever realized how much and how many people loved you. I wish you would have known.I just hope you now know how we all loved you so much. I also hope that you don't feel any of the pain the rest of us are now feeling and wondering how long it's going to take not to go to sleep with tears and wake up with tears.

Well Al I'll talk to you again later.  Help me make it thru my day.

Love, "your favorite aunt"
Auntie Eleanor

With All of our Love- Your mother, sister and family.
Alan F.  Drake : 4/10/1954 – 10/13/2011
Born in Woonsocket Rhode Island, moved to CA when he was 11 months old, in 1955
Alan grew up surrounded by family: aunts, uncles, cousins, all closeby, loving and having fun. He had a large family and loved to be with them . His Mother's love for him was fierce and unconditional.
Alan grew up an easy-going, congenial kid. He had a passion for all kinds of music. As a teenager he would go to many of his favorite concerts. He was a great dancer, anything from the jitterbug to disco. He and his sister Bev were dance partners on many occasions, along with Mom.
He went to UCLA to pursue the medical field (and after a visit to coroner's office) decided to switch to business management and transferred to CSUN. He loved people and enjoyed his first job managing Dave's dress shop in the Topanga Plaza mall and designed the window displays. The family's wardrobe really improved during that job.
He also enjoyed his role as VP for Great Western and Associate Director for the American Red Cross which included writing grants. He was at the forefront of HIV aids education. In the workplace. He thought he would like to be a CPA but realized his desire to be around people was greater. Alan was a humanitarian, who always wanted to help and give to others even if his Mom or others were subsidizing his activities. He was a taker and a giver, multi-talented indeed!
Alan loved sarcasm and could mix it up with the best of them. He enjoyed schooling his cousins in this endeavor and had a great sense of humor. 
He was always so thoughtful of his nephews, and niece, always bringing them a gift or treat of some kind when he saw them. He spent a great deal of time babysitting them too! In their early years, he was just plain fun.
Alan was happy with life in general and not a complainer. He took life in stride, happy go lucky, attracting people wherever he went.  He enjoyed going to thrift shops with his grandmother, his memere, and helped his mother and family take care of her in her last years. He loved shopping and keeping up with the lives of celebrities. He knew everything about Marilyn Monroe, Cher, Madonna, David Bowie, Michael Jackson. He basically loved Hollywood! He spent years living in Hollywood, dressing like Rod Stewart and the like for the times. 
Alan spent his later years living in the San Fernando Valley, and ultimately stayed in Lancaster, California.
 He took classes this year at A.V. College which he really enjoyed. 
 Alan had years of battling with alcohol and prescription drug  abuse . Whatever his demons, this was the one struggle in his life that he continued to try to overcome.  
Alan wanted to live, he was very vocal that he was not ready to leave this earth.  However suddenly, God had other plans for Alan. Plans that we still can't understand.
We pray that Alan is at peace now. Perhaps he was greeted by his father, Bill, or his memere and Aunt Lynn.  We are grateful for his life and  the love that he gave so willingly.

Alan,  This is hard I have only great memories of you and there are so many running through my head. Man the times you Pat and I have had, sunrises and sunsets and all the fun in between. you were always great at just being you and we all loved you for that, you were a great teacher, listener, friend and secret keeperand most of all a great protector.  I think we all loved your sense of humor the most.  It was always great to see you and no matter how long it had been it always seemed as though we were never apart.  you will always be my favorite i love you and will miss you. You were more perfect then you would ever know at least in my eyes. I don't think this pain will ever go away Love ya, Lori Padori

Alan, this was just never supposed to be this way. Part of my heart died on October 13, 2011 and what is left will always have you in it. I miss your kindness, generosity and caring.  Most of all I just miss your face and being able to talk with you.  Who will I share our sarcastic humor with now?  Thank God for memories because I don't know how any of us are going to get through this incredibly painful time.  Please be at your Mom's side and help her through this..I know you will because you always have been when there have been difficult times. But this is the worst pain she's ever had to face and she needs you to let her know in some way that where you are is beautiful and you went there first to get things ready for the rest of us. I'm sure you're redecorating and probably telling Memere and Auntie Lynn something really sarcastic and funny about someone or something there.It's difficult to type with tears running all over the place and you're probably laughing at me right now right?  You're one of the best things that ever happened to me I love you always and miss you terribly. Let me know when you get everything ready for me.  I LOVE YOU (your favorite aunt} haha  Auntie Eleanor

OBITUARY

Alan Francis Drake

April 10, 1954 – October 13, 2011

Westminster Memorial Park & Mortuary

Show your support

Send Flowers

Add a Memory

Share Obituary

Get Reminders

Past Services

Memorial Service

Graveside Blessing

Reception