On April 16th, Ray Jackson McQuary died at his home in Kingwood, Texas at the age of 79. He is survived by his wife, Lily, their children and grandchildren, his sister-in-law, Betty, and his nieces and nephew. He led a full life filled with laughter and love, and will truly be missed. He told the most outlandish stories that were mostly true.
He was born in Austin on January 23, 1940, traveled the world, and like all true Texans came back “home”. William McQuary, of Scottish descent, and Nell De Graffenried, of royal Swiss Baron descent, raised him. After his mother passed away, his dad married Jessie McQuary and she legally adopted Ray and his older brother Bill. They lived in many places including four wonderful years in Chile, where this lanky boy was affectionately known as “Pata de Zancudo” (or Mosquito Legs). As kids, Ray and his brother plotted many crazy things, and after their parents had had enough, they were sent off to the Tennessee Military Institute and Wentworth Academy. There Ray’s passion for military history was born. In his later years, he took this passion and wrote a historical novel about the mysterious trail of stolen property during WWII.
Ray graduated both from West Point and The United States Army Ranger School. Under the strenuous 75th Ranger Regiment he had adventuresome training that included surviving the Florida swamps with scarce resources, and jumping out of helicopters with warheads strapped to his back. After this training, he served his country in Vietnam as a Captain in the 4th Engineer Battalion. There he built bridges and figured out how to keep the roads dry during the rainy season. He carried his love of knowing “water always runs downhill” later on in life as he installed his own sprinkler systems and tinkered with his gutters.
While stationed in Dexheim, Germany, he met Lily – a lovely lady from Luxembourg – and being a young, strapping 6’-5” man, he swept Lily off her feet and brought her back to Texas. Before they left Europe though, they were married in the quaint Catholic Church of Helleng in Lily’s hometown. After the military, Ray graduated from the University of Texas at Austin with a Doctor of Jurisprudence. He had a successful professional career that started with working for the Staff Council at the Texas Department of Corrections, then was a Federal Magistrate in the Panama Canal Zone and in Houston, had his private law practice in Houston, taught at the University of St. Thomas, ran as a Texas Court of Criminal Appeals Judge candidate and lastly was a Social Security Administrative Law Judge. And, if you think that was a long list, it keeps on going! He was active in his community at St. Martha’s Catholic Church, Rotary International, the Kingwood Executive Group, the Lakes Association and as a soccer/basketball coach to 10+ teams. He also was an integral part of a citizen’s group that pushed for smaller schools in the Humble Independent School District. In his free time, which he still somehow had, he helped out at his in-laws’ farm and his dad’s ranch, and provided pro bono legal aid.
He was equally active in sports, particularly ones that use racquets. He lettered in squash at West Point, was part of the Kingwood “Racquetball Gods”, won the men’s over 70 Tennis National Championships as he put it, “by just showing up”, and he medaled in his age category for numerous Triathlons.
He spent 55 glorious years with his wife and had four children: Bryan, Philip, Laura and 11 years later - Melanie! He raised them to be fair, honest, generous, hardworking, independent thinkers and to know the value of a dollar. He and Lily traveled with their kids and visited as many restaurants, museums, cathedrals, pyramids, glaciers and parks as is humanly possible in one’s lifetime. He even trekked through the Panamanian rainforest searching for gold with his eldest son. He was always an encouraging mentor and guide for his children’s professional lives as well. He helped lay the foundation for Bryan’s start-up company and hired Laura’s newly established design-build office to do a boutique residential development. He was pleased that his family continues to grow with grandchildren. He touched many lives and that is how he shall live on.
St. Martha’s in Kingwood will be holding a mass for Ray on May 3rd at 10 am, and a reception will follow.
Condolences can be shared online at www.dignitymemorial.com. And in lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Ray’s honor to the Innocence Project https://www.innocenceproject.org/getinvolved/ or Doctors Without Borders https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/
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