Mary Lou Stephenson

In remembrance of Mary Louise ‘Mary Lou’ (Anderson) Stephenson - A Fearless Friend to All When asked what was the secret to her long life, Mary Lou replied that “she never let anyone do for her, what she could do for herself.” Born around three o’clock in the morning on February 1, 1921, and living to the rare age of 101, she most certainly led a full and storied one. Beyond fierce independence, there were several core tenets that contributed to her inspiring life: an unwavering priority and focus on family and friends; a calm, fearless determination to pursue dreams big and small; an insatiable love of learning; and the importance of showing kindness and generosity towards all people. Days after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Mary Lou boarded a bus to meet her fiancé, Harold 'Steve' Stephenson, who was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. They were married on Christmas Day 1941 in Manhattan, Kansas. Without hesitation, she supported him throughout his entire military career and accompanied him to many posts around the country, including Fort Riley, Kansas; Fort Knox, Kentucky; and Fort Smith, Arkansas. She sent strength from afar while he was fighting in many countries overseas in the Allies’ European offensive. After he returned, she supported his decision to serve in the Army Reserves while they lived in Richmond, Indiana and celebrated his rise to the rank of captain. During their time at Fort Smith, Mary Lou gave birth to their first son, Nels. In Richmond, she gave birth to their second son, Robert ‘Bob’. She took great pride in her son’s character and accomplishments through all phases of their lives, consistently noting “that she had raised two good boys.” Her love and kindness extended to all members of her family. This joy was visible at every family gathering she attended or often hosted. Always her preference to spend more time with those she loved, Mary Lou hosted countless birthdays, picnics, as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It was also seen through the care and mentorship she provided to all - never hesitating to share her home to any family member in need of a temporary or longer-term place to stay, always staying up to date on what younger and older relatives were doing and encouraging them to pursue their passions whenever she next saw them, and making a point to visit and talk with family as often as possible. If you needed advice, she was there to offer guidance. If you just needed to talk, she was always thoughtful in listening to what you might be struggling with and eager to share an experience with helpful perspective. If you needed a laugh, she seemed to always have a joke or story to tell. This sentiment was felt and described by both family and friends. Though she never held a more formal position of leadership, she was held in high regard as a community leader - one who chose to lead from the middle, supporting and standing right alongside anyone who reached out to her. Even in her later years, she made a point to visit nursing homes in the Kokomo area, visiting with infirm or elderly members of the community (sometimes younger than herself!), just to make sure they had someone to spend time with, catching up about the day or doing crafts together. On the occasion of her 100th birthday, she received over 100 cards celebrating that milestone. It’s not hard to imagine the heartfelt thanks expressed by many for her friendship and mentorship! Her determination to live life to the fullest was seen in her strong sense of self and creative ambition, particularly when women didn’t always have access to many opportunities or were expected to adhere to certain social norms. When her future husband first asked her on a date, she had already been planning to go on an afternoon bicycle ride. Instead of switching gears, she insisted that if he wanted to spend time with her - he would have to come along. He quickly rented a bike and they rode together for over 20 miles, from Kokomo to Plevna, Indiana and back. When she was younger and there weren’t enough boys to form a full team for neighborhood baseball games, she’d join in. When her boys were growing up, she played basketball with them and didn’t shy away from one-upping them on the court before they grew taller than her. When she became interested in opening her own salon, she balanced beauty classes at night while working full-time and looking after her children. Her son Bob once noted, “Really, I can’t think of anything that she tried that she wasn’t good at. I can’t imagine what her life would have been like if she had lived in a different era.” Her courage to not shy away from the less traveled path translated into a lifelong interest in learning, particularly about the diversity of people and cultures around the world. She traveled to nearly all 50 US states, even Alaska and Hawaii. She also visited many other countries, including Greece, Italy, Panama, and Turkey. In addition to being a competitive athlete, Mary Lou was also passionate and skilled in the arts. She played the piano, organ, violin, and recorder. For decades she was a member of Kokomo’s Christ Lutheran Church choir and handbell ensemble; and she took a wide variety of art classes, including painting, drawing, and for “hand work” as she used to say, knitting, crocheting, and sewing. She was known to practice yoga and famously could still hold a plank “for a minute or two” even at 101. Many have spoken of Mary Lou’s unique ability to convey the same degree of warmth and gratitude when first welcoming or meeting someone as when saying goodbye. May we continue to hold her smile and spirit within our hearts. Mary Lou was a member of the Kokomo High School class of 1938. She retired from Delco Electronics and previously held positions at BW Manufacturing among other companies. She was a longstanding parishioner of Christ Lutheran Church, UAW #292 member, and member of the Kokomo Chapter Order of the Eastern Star for over 75 years. She was also a member of the General James Cox Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Rebekahs or Order of Independent Oddfellows, the Order of Wiser Lutherans, and Women of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. She also held a lifelong love of being in nature, gardening, orchestral music, and good novels. She is survived by her son, Robert 'Bob' (Tonya) Stephenson; grandchildren, Mindi (John) Strong, Derek (Angie) Stephenson, Clayton (Sarah) Yocom, Cassidy Ferris; many greatgrandchildren; 11 great-great-grandchildren; sister-in-law, Ruth Anderson; and many cousins, nieces and nephews. Preceded in death by her parents; her loving husband of 49 years, Harold; her brother, George Anderson; and son, Nels Stephenson and daughter-in-law Janet Stephenson. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made in Mary Lou's memory to Christ Lutheran Church or The Literacy Coalition. Envelopes will be provided at the church. There will be a time of visitation for Mary Lou on Monday, May 16, 2022 at Christ Lutheran Church, 3401 South Dixon Rd., Kokomo from 10:00 A.M. until the time of service at 1:00 P.M. The Reverend Sharon Walker will be officiating. Burial will follow to Sunset Memory Garden.