What To Do When Someone Dies Checklist
If you’re unclear about the steps to take after someone you love dies, the checklist below provides some suggestions as to what to do immediately and in the days and months afterward.
Consider printing and/or emailing this checklist for yourself and close relatives, so you can easily access it when you need it.
Your checklist for what to do when someone you love dies
Before meeting with a funeral planner
Before the funeral or memorial
Grief support for yourself and your family
Immediately after death
Notify the authorities.
If you’re not in a hospital or with hospice care at the time of the death, call 911 as soon as you can. An authority will need to legally pronounce the death. If your loved one is in a hospital or under hospice care, a medical caretaker will handle this task.
Take a breath.
After a loved one has passed, you’re sure to feel a range of emotions. You may become overwhelmed with feelings. In the first 24 hours after experiencing a loss—and even for days and weeks after—self-care is essential.
Take time to breathe. You don’t have to rush into decisions. It’s OK to take a break, go for a walk or sleep. Pause and lean on the people around you until you feel up to doing whatever is next. Then this checklist can help.
Soon after death
Call a funeral home for transportation.
To arrange transportation for your loved one to a funeral home, first check if a provider is specified in your loved one’s will or prepaid funeral plan. If there’s not a will or prepaid plan, you can call the Dignity Memorial provider closest to you. We will arrange transportation for your loved one without obligation to use our other services.
Notify close family and friends.
You may wish to start notifying family and close friends about the passing of your loved one. While a face-to-face conversation is ideal, this task is more likely to be done with a phone call, text or via email. You might find the easiest way is to stick to the facts and keep calls simple and concise. It’s OK to tell others that you’re still processing what’s happened and that you don’t have all the answers yet.
It’s also OK to delegate this task. To free up your time and energy for things that are more difficult to delegate, ask a few close relatives or friends to notify others on your behalf.
Enlist a support system.
Here are some steps to take to build a helpful support system at this time:
- Arrange caregivers for elderly relatives, children or pets to give yourself time and space to grieve and make arrangements.
- Let your network know specific ways they can help, such as preparing meals or assisting with household chores.
- If people offer to help and their offers feel genuinely heartfelt and helpful, accept rather than politely decline.
- If possible, reach out for professional support from a grief counselor, therapist or member of the clergy.
Notify your loved one’s employer, if he or she was still working.
When making a list of what to do when someone dies, it’s easy to forget about their workplace. However, if your loved one was still working when they died, you’ll want to notify their employer when you can.
When you reach out, you can also ask about any remaining pay, life insurance, pension or other work-related details that you may want or need to know.
Locate your loved one’s will and prepaid funeral arrangements.
Honoring your loved one’s final wishes begins with locating their will and any prepaid funeral arrangements. Even if you’re already familiar with their preferences, finding this documentation is an essential step.
Start by checking with their lawyer or the person who held their power of attorney. You can also search key places in their home, such as an office or safe. If they had a safe deposit box, check that. Additionally, a copy of their will may be on file with the local county probate court.
Locating these documents helps ensure your loved one’s wishes are respected and provides clarity during this emotional time.
Select a funeral home and begin making or finalizing arrangements.
If your loved one had a prepaid funeral plan, it will include details about their preferred funeral home. In that case, reach out to the funeral home listed in the plan for the next steps. If there isn’t a plan, you will need to choose a funeral home.
When evaluating funeral homes, look for a provider with caring, respectful staff who listen. An in-person visit can help you find a place where you feel comfortable and that offers the facilities you want for a service.
Before meeting with a funeral planner
Designate a point of contact.
To streamline communications, ask an emotionally steady family member or friend to be the main point of contact between your family and the funeral home. Choose someone whom you trust to make some decisions on your behalf and reliably handle logistics.
Gather important information.
Your family will need to provide certain information at the funeral arrangement conference in order to get the death certificate process going. That information includes:
- Your loved one’s full name
- Social Security number
- Date and place of birth
- Address at the time of death
- Marital status and the surviving spouse’s name, if applicable
- Veterans discharge papers (DD-214), if applicable
- Father’s name
- Mother’s full name, including maiden name
- Place of death
- Highest level of education and occupation
Start an obituary.
Your funeral director can help you write an obituary, or you may choose to write it yourself. (We have templates if you need help.)
A good obituary paints a picture that helps others remember the joy, laughter and wisdom that the individual brought into their lives, creating a lasting tribute that reflects their true essence.
When writing an obituary, think about how to celebrate the loved one’s life, not just announce their death, highlighting the impact they made on those around them. Including personal stories, cherished memories and meaningful contributions gives a sense of character, values and the love shared with family and friends.
Ask at least one trusted person to proofread the obituary before submitting it for publication.
Gather photos for a tribute movie and items for a display.
Using photos and videos to create a tribute movie is a heartfelt way to celebrate a loved one’s life. Start by collecting your own favorite snapshots; ask friends and family to contribute their cherished memories. The funeral home can then create a tribute video showcasing important and fun moments in your loved one’s life.
A memory table at a service can be set with photographs, artwork and personal items that reflect the passions, hobbies and accomplishments of the person being honored. Fill a small box with the treasures from your loved one's life and give it to your funeral director.
These tasks can be delegated to adult children, grandchildren or other close family members.
Before the funeral or memorial
Recruit helpers.
Depending on the service or services, you may need decorators, caters, greeters, servers and drivers. The funeral plan may include staff to serve these roles; if not, ask friends and family to help.
You may also ask a relative to stop by your loved one’s home if they lived alone so they can check on plants, throw out perishable food, collect mail and make sure the house is secure.
This is also the time to designate pallbearers.
Share details of the service.
Once memorial details are confirmed, share the time, date and location of the services with those closest to you. Ask them to share with friends and the wider community. You can do this via phone, email, text or social media.
A Dignity Memorial obituary will include these details, and it's easy to share. It will also offer options for sending flowers, gifts or donations, as well as a place for people to leave memories and condolences.
Plan a post-funeral gathering.
A reception after a funeral or cremation memorial allows everyone to gather to share memories and provide each other support. This event can be as extravagant or as simple as you like, from hiring a private space in a hotel to holding a low-key gathering at home or in a local park.
Most families opt to host a gathering at the funeral home, which can often handle decor, catering and more.
After the funeral or memorial
In the weeks following a service, someone will need to contact agencies and businesses to settle the estate and close accounts. Below is a list of some suggested agencies/businesses you might need to contact:
- Probate attorney. A probate attorney plays a key role in executing the will. Contact the attorney early on to begin the probate process. He or she can assist with managing assets, trusts and the inventory of your loved one’s estate.
- Social Security and Department of Veterans Affairs. Contact Social Security (800-772-1213; https://www.ssa.gov/) to stop benefits, obtain survivor benefits and address Medicare, if applicable. If your loved one was a veteran, reach out to the Department of Veterans Affairs (800-827-1000; https://www.va.gov/) for survivor benefits.
- Insurance companies. Notify insurance companies (health, life, homeowner, automobile) to stop or transfer benefits and cancel policies. A death certificate is typically required.
- Tax preparer. Consult your loved one’s accountant or tax preparer to determine outstanding tax requirements, including estate and final income tax returns.
- Department of Motor Vehicles. Contact your state’s DMV to cancel your loved one’s driver’s license.
- Banks. The banks can assist with information about safe deposit boxes and remaining accounts. Consider opening a new account for the estate to manage finances, pay off debt or handle recurring bills.
- Post office. Notify USPS (usps.com) of the death and set up mail forwarding. This can help you manage any bills, subscriptions or services.
- Police. If your loved one’s home will be vacant for a time, notify the local police. They can help monitor the property.
- Utility companies. Contact utility companies (water, electricity, gas, internet) to stop services or redirect billing.
- Online companies. Decide what to do with your loved one’s digital footprint, including social media accounts, email and websites. Companies like Meta and Google each have policies for memorializing or shuttering accounts.
Take care of you: grief support
The weeks and months after the loss of a loved one can be extremely difficult. Grief is natural, personal and has no timetable. It may last for a shorter or longer time than you expect, and it may be coupled with feelings of anger, guilt, emptiness or hopelessness. Whatever your experience, know that there are family and friends all around you.
We're here for you, too. When you plan a funeral with a Dignity Memorial provider, you get unlimited complimentary phone access to professionals trained in grief counseling any time day or night, for any reason for up to 13 months through our 24-hour Compassion Helpline® (services provided by Charles Nechtem Associates). We also offer online grief resources accessible from anywhere.