We know how difficult losing a family member or friend is. When someone dies, the responsibility of funeral planning can feel overwhelming. A compassionate Dignity Memorial^® professional can make all the difference. 

When someone dies, there may be many decisions to make: where to hold the funeral or cremation memorial, whether to have a traditional funeral or a modern celebration of life, whether traditional burial or cremation scattering is more fitting, which funeral home to choose, what to write in a death announcement or obituary, and so much more. Far easier is the case of arranging services for a loved one who pre-planned end-of-life arrangements. Either way, a director will be by your side every step of the way. 

To help you feel more prepared and less overwhelmed, we’ve outlined what you will need to do and what you can expect—both before and during your meeting with the funeral director—as well as what comes after.

Table of contents

• Before your funeral planning meeting
• Funeral arrangement conference checklist
• What to expect after your arrangement conference
• Payment options

A funeral planning meeting, sometimes called an arrangement conference, is the time for you to plan a tribute for your loved one. You will sit down with a funeral director and share about your loved one’s life, your family’s traditions, your cultural and religious beliefs and your vision for the event. We’ll discuss what to include in an obituary, what elements would mean the most for friends and family, and more.

Before your funeral arrangement conference, think about the following:

• Who will be the main point of contact for the funeral home? Designate one person in your family to be the main contact for funeral home staff. This can be you or another person. A single point of contact helps avoid miscommunication.
• Who will be there to support you? It's helpful to have a close friend or family member at the arrangement conference for emotional support and to take notes for you.
• Is there a prepaid plan in place? If your loved one pre-arranged funeral or cremation and/or purchased cemetery property, the funeral home may already have this information. Even if there's no formal plan in place but your loved one wrote down preferences and wishes, share that at the funeral planning meeting.
• What elements should be included in the service? What are your family traditions? What religious rites are desired? What kind of permanent memorial will best honor your loved one’s personality and life views? From a faith-based funeral followed by a cemetery burial to a no-holds-barred celebration of life followed by a fireworks display containing ashes, we specialize in creating personalized services.

At the arrangement conference

Your arrangement conference is a time to talk through your loved one’s wishes—or the decisions you’ll need to make on their behalf—with the support and guidance of a funeral director. The meeting may take place in person or virtually, and usually lasts a couple of hours. You’re welcome to bring close family members or friends for support, or you can attend on your own.

During the meeting, your funeral director will walk you through each part of the planning process, answer your questions and begin gathering the details needed to create a meaningful service. This may include:

• Information for the death certificate and obituary
• Preferences for a funeral, cremation or other type of service
• Decisions about location, date and time of services
• Religious or cultural traditions you’d like to include
• Personal touches, such as photos, music, clothing or mementos
• Cemetery arrangements, if needed
• Payment options and insurance information

If you’re unsure about any of the details, that’s okay. Your funeral director will help you work through them at your own pace. Their goal is to make sure your loved one is honored in a way that feels right to you and your family.

Here are some other things to consider for the funeral arrangement conference.

Clothing & accessories 

Choosing an outfit for your loved one can be a meaningful part of the funeral planning process. Whether you're planning a traditional service with an open casket or a cremation with a viewing, you can honor who they were through clothing that reflects their spirit, style or a special moment in time. You will want to provide the funeral home with:

• An outfit your loved one loved. This might be a favorite suit or dress, a traditional cultural garment, or something more personal like a cozy sweater or signature T-shirt paired with well-loved jeans. If your loved one was a veteran or service member, their uniform may be a meaningful choice. Be sure to include socks and undergarments to complete the ensemble.
• Shoes or slippers. Even though these aren't typically seen, they complete the outfit.
• Jewelry. Any rings, a necklace, bracelets, earrings or a watch your loved one wore frequently can be a nice touch. You may want to be sure your veteran is wearing their service medals.
• Personal items. If your loved one typically wore dentures, eyeglasses, a wig or a hairpiece, include those.
• Favorite makeup colors or products. You want your loved one to look like themselves, and having familiar cosmetics helps.

Items like glasses or jewelry will be returned to you before cremation, and if you'd like them back before burial, just let us know. If you need to purchase something new for your loved one, ask a friend or your funeral director to help.

Death certificate information

Using the information you provide during the planning conference, your funeral director will request an official death certificate. To do so, we’ll need the following details about your loved one:

• Full legal name
• Social Security number
• Date and place of birth
• Last address
• Marital status and name of surviving spouse (if applicable)
• Father’s full name
• Mother’s full name, including maiden name
• Place of death
• Highest level of education
• Occupation

If your loved one was a veteran, we also need a copy of their discharge papers (Form DD-214).

Obituary information

An obituary is more than just a notice—it’s a celebration of your loved one’s life and a way to share their story with others. During your arrangement conference, you’ll be asked to provide some basic biographical details, such as your loved one’s full name, age, date of birth, place of birth and date of passing. But just as important are the personal touches that bring their memory to life.

Think about what made your loved one who they were. What were their favorite hobbies or pastimes? Did they have a signature saying, a beloved pet, or a lifelong passion for a particular cause or activity? What made people smile when they thought of them? These details help create an obituary that feels heartfelt and genuine.

You’ll also be asked about survivors and predeceased family members, as well as information for any upcoming services. If you’d prefer donations to a specific charity or cause in lieu of flowers, this is the time to share those details.

If writing feels overwhelming, your funeral provider can shape the information into a meaningful obituary. You’re also welcome to bring in a draft or notes you’ve already started.

Photographs & videos

Gathering photos and videos of your loved one can be a meaningful and comforting part of planning their service. These images—whether joyful, candid or full of personality—help tell the story of your loved one's life.

A recent photo can be especially helpful if the funeral home is preparing your loved one for a viewing or service with an open casket. Other photos and videos can be used to create a tribute movie that plays during the service or reception, offering a heartfelt way for friends and family to reflect on shared memories. A favorite photo can also be featured in the online obituary, service folders, memory books, prayer cards, guest books, and other keepsakes.

Try to include a variety of images from different stages of life—childhood snapshots, milestone moments and casual everyday scenes. Each one adds depth and helps paint a fuller picture of the person you knew and loved.

If you don’t have printed photos, that’s no problem. Your funeral director can help you upload digital images to our secure portal, so we can include them in your loved one’s tribute.

Just like photos, personal mementos can beautifully reflect your loved one’s personality, passions and moments that made their life unique. These items—whether simple, symbolic or even playful—add warmth and meaning to the service and often spark stories, laughter and connection among family and friends.

Mementos can be displayed on thoughtfully arranged memory tables or woven into the overall theme of the funeral or celebration of life. Whether it’s a favorite book or painting, a collection of hats, treasured recipe cards or cherished souvenirs, each item helps bring your loved one’s story to life.

Personalization can go as far as you’d like. We've seen everything from laid-back, beach-themed gatherings to sports tributes with signed jerseys to celebrations of lifelong passions like euchre, fishing, rock-and-roll and soap operas. There’s no “right” way to create a tribute—only what feels most meaningful to you and your family.

And please know, your Dignity Memorial provider will treat every memento with care and respect. After the service, all items will be safely returned to your family.

Other essential documents

Bringing the right documents to your arrangement conference can help everything go more smoothly and ensure your loved one’s wishes are honored as fully as possible. In addition to the details needed for the death certificate, it’s helpful to bring any life insurance policies and veterans paperwork you may have.

Life insurance documents are especially important if the policy will be used to help cover funeral expenses. For a veteran, military discharge papers—including Form DD-214—are needed if you’d like to request military honors as part of the service. If you’re unsure how to find this paperwork, your funeral director can guide you.

And don’t worry if you don’t have everything at your fingertips. You can bring missing documents to the funeral home after your initial meeting.

Once you’ve met with the funeral director and shared your loved one’s information, preferences and any special items, they’ll take it from there—coordinating every aspect of the service with care and attention to detail.

Your funeral director or another staff member will:

• Begin preparing the obituary, using the information you’ve provided
• Coordinate with clergy, celebrant or other service leaders
• Finalize venue, transportation and scheduling details
• Arrange for any requested military honors or special touches
• Assemble tribute videos, printed materials and memory displays
• Handle permits and paperwork, including filing the death certificate
• Take your payment

They’ll stay in regular contact with you (or your designated point person) throughout the planning process and will be available anytime questions come up.

In some cases, they may ask for your input on things like:

• Providing a final photo or edit for the obituary
• Confirming service participants, such as pallbearers or speakers
• Selecting songs or readings for the service
• Dropping off additional clothing, photos, personal items or documents you hadn’t yet gathered when the meeting took place

There are several ways to pay for a funeral or cremation, and your funeral director can walk you through the options that make the most sense for your situation.

If your loved one pre-planned and prepaid for their funeral, then the financial part may already be taken care of. In that case, you can focus on honoring their wishes without added stress.

For funerals or cremations that haven’t been prepaid, payment is typically required in full before the day of the service. If you’re arranging a funeral or cremation and looking at ways to manage the costs, here are a few options to consider:

• Insurance. If your loved one had a whole life, term life, or final expense insurance policy, it may help cover funeral costs. However, insurance payouts can take time to process and may not arrive in time to pay the funeral bill. In most cases, families cover the costs upfront and then reimburse themselves once the policy pays out.
• Veterans' benefits. A U.S. veteran may qualify for a plot allowance, marker allowance or other benefits. These funds are not automatic—you must apply for them—and they typically cover only a portion of the total costs. Additional funds or payment methods are usually needed.
• Family contributions. Families often come together to share expenses. Whether one person takes the lead or several contribute, pooling resources can help lighten the load for everyone.
• Crowdfunding. Online platforms like GoFundMe can be used to collect donations from friends, extended family, community members or organizations willing to help cover funeral or cremation expenses.
• Credit card. Though this option may carry high interest, it can offer a quick and accessible way to cover costs in the short term.
• CareCredit^®. Some funeral homes accept CareCredit, a healthcare credit card that offers promotional financing for medical and related expenses, including funeral and cremation services. This can be a helpful tool for families needing a little extra flexibility. CareCredit is a registered trademark of and services are provided by Synchrony Bank.
• Bank loan. A personal loan from your bank or credit union may offer a lower interest rate than a credit card and can provide the necessary funds upfront.

No matter your financial situation, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Your Dignity Memorial funeral provider can explain your options and help you determine what’s best for you and your family.

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